The fear of failure
Fear of failure is a different kind of fear to that of fear for your life but in a way its worse because its an invented fear given to us by authority figures. We are hard-wired to fear certain things, for example, babies show fear at snakes, but not at the prospect of failing their GCSE's. That has to be taught.

The other night I had a dream that I was once again a 17 year old about to drop out of A-level Chemistry, and I felt all the fear and anxiety of being labeled a failure by my parents, teachers & peers, which is what happened.

When I woke up it took a few seconds to remember that I was a thirty year old accountant and I was in MY house and there was no need to be afraid.

Chemistry teachers, I shit 'em.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 17:10, Reply)

nasty men, boo (with apologies to PJM)
Living on my own in Edinburgh and the next door(unoccupied) flat got broken into at 2.30am by a bunch of mindless smackheads out of their trees on everything.

It was on the top floor and it sounded like they were trying to break into *my* flat, and I didn't have my chastity pants on either.

I was utterly terrified so I hid in the wardrobe while I rang the police and tried not to wee in my pyjamas.

I fell asleep before they came though.



length? girth? I was asleep!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 17:04, Reply)

the shame
At uni we did this:

Grabbed a mate from behind and put a sack over his head, and tied him up. He had no idea who we were. We were very aggressive and used strong irish accents (this was a few years ago, it was credible). We put him in the boot of the car and drove around for ages, occasionally stopping suddenly and getting out of the car and staging arguments near the boot- things like "lets just fooking do 'im now" and "no, wait until we're in the woods" and things like that. He was begging us to tell him what he had done, and that we had the wrong guy etc.

We did this for about an hour and drove to a nearby forest. We had him out of the car on his knees leaning against a tree and we made it sound like we were testing one of the young'uns - to see if he could shoot him. We held a tire wrench against his head so it felt like a gun. We acted really well, the 'young un' pretending to bottle it, until until i said "fook this" and grabbed the gun. It all went quiet and and all we could hear was his sobbing as he pissed himself.

I shouted bang as loud and as suddenly as possible and he fell over. We took the sack off him and he was still begging for his life even as he saw us. He had utterly convinced himself that he was going to die and could not understand why all his mates were standing over him.

Scared? Never seen anything like it. It was 14 years ago and he still doesnt speak to us.

Mind you, dont blame him, it was a cunt of a thing to do to someone
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 17:00, Reply)

Mile End!
Actually, it was pretty much a year ago. I'd just started a new job, and was coming home from work. I got as far as Mile End when the urge to wee overcame me - I had to get off of the train and find a convenient bar/wall/lamppost/anything to relieve myself in.

In my hurry to find somewhere to urinate, I went to cross the road (at a pedestrian crossing, I hasten to add). In case you don't know Mile End, there's a three lane bit of road there. On this night, two of the lanes were stopped - and without looking I thought "Oh, it's safe to walk then..."

And did.

The next thing I remember is the screech of tyres, and the honking of a horn; and me looking up just in time to see the car that was about to hit me. Somehow, I managed to turn my body and get my hand on the bonnet, before the front left wing knocked my legs from underneath me. I felt every part of my back bruise as I hit the bonnet, and rolled up towards the windscreen. After what felt like a century, gravity and the cars forward motion took hold, and I was thrown from the bonnet on to the tarmac. The second my shoulder impacted, time went to normal speed again.

I had fallen in to the lane of oncoming traffic. Which, ironically, had been stopped by the cars which were waiting at the crossing for no reason.

Looking at the car - a headlight was smashed, the wing mirror was hanging off, and there was a not inconsiderable dent in the bonnet. And me? I had got up and walked away from a car hitting me at 25mph without so much as a broken bone. A few scratches, and what turned in to one hell of a bruise, but nothing else. When the ambulance crew turned up, they were surprised to find the 'victim' walking around laughing (though that was most likely the shock...)

That was the most terrifying experience of my life. And now? Now I will not cross the road unless the green man comes up.

Oh, you want something funny? The car was a FUCKING VAUXHALL TIGRA.

(EDIT: No, I didn't piss myself, either. Somehow, mt body figured that pain was more important than weeing...)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 17:00, Reply)

Open Water
I was really genuinely scared last Saturday when I got cut off on a small island at sea.

It was a lovely day and we had walked out to this little island that you can only reach at low tide. My husband & I decided to have a little half an hour sunbathe there before heading back. But when we tried to get back the sea had rolled in and completely trapped us. It happened to be a Spring tide, apparentely, which meant it was particularly violent and strong and it was inching up visibly as we stood there dumbfounded. There was a strip of swirling water between us and land about the width of a motorway.

Long and short, I leapt in fully clothed (minus shoes and socks) and waded back in waist deep water. My husband stood there pissing himself with laughter watching to see if I made it. I did but one of my trainers didn't, it was sacrificed to the gods of the sea. He then followed and also made it but gained a nasty cut on his foot which is I think was karma for making me go first.

The whole thing gave me a newfound respect for the sea! It was all a bit scary.
(Sameranda, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:59, Reply)

scared
last time i posted on QOTW. Scared that although true, my stories are shite and i will be flamed.

here it comes again....
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:58, Reply)

Zoom
A mate of mine used to work 30 miles from where he lived at the time with his parents.
One day the phone rang which he casually answered to hear his mother screaming and crying down the phone

"OHMYGODPLEASECOMEQUICKPLEEEEASEWAAAAAAHAAAHAAAAA!!!!"

Fuck! She's being attacked/raped/killed he immediately thought.
He Jumped on his motorbike, made it home in under 20 minutes (30 miles remember - you do the math), ran into the house with the motorbike on it's side, engine still running with the nearest heavy object he could use for a weapon.
Inside, ready to beat the assailant to death, he found his mum with an embarressed expression on her face.

"WHAT????"
"Oh... there was a spider. But the neighbour got rid of it."
"WHAT???????"
"Well it was a really big one!"
( Weetobix, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:57, Reply)

Joined the army
Was learning how to be a soldier, now the rifles we were issued SA80's A1 version were what is known as tempramental*, so you had to do a forward assist on them. That is tapping the cocking handle with the side of your hand to make sure it engages correctly.
So off we go into Sailsbury plain to play Soldiers, doin a little firing, running about, changing magazine. then out of no where a great fuck off size nine boot hits me in the side of the head.
"FARKING FORWARD ASSIST GILLESPIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT"
"I did Corporal!" oooh bad reply
I was kicked literally accross the training area.

length? ooh I'd say about 3 football pitches.



_{*Pieces of shit}
( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:49, Reply)

Scary - you bet!
The last time I "shat" myself would have been staying with my ex in Southwark (a country gent such as myself had not been exposed to the broight loights so to speak!) I went out for a chinese and ended up being chased by what can only be described a a baying pack of rabid muggers - thank fuck i could shift a bit in those days, now I would have to take the kicking / stabbing etc
(TAZ220 Not giving a toss since, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:44, Reply)

Late 80's
Travelling back from Jersey on a ferry during one of those particularly nasty gales. That was fun, watching the waves seemingly crash over one side of the ship, and back down on the other side.

Being only a nipper, I thought I was going to die.

Oddly enough, the time I was "kidnapped" by some locals while travelling in Jordan in 1998 was a lot less frightening...
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:40, Reply)

Pub
.
Last time I was really scared was when I made it back from London, late on a Friday night, and realised that I was 15 minutes away from the pub and that it closed in ten minutes....
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:34, Reply)

About 5 years ago...
... waking up in hospital and being told that I'd spent the previous 20 hours in a coma induced by spending a month in the pub.
(Avalanche - Purveyor of sexual deviancy since 1976, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:30, Reply)

Farmer's with pickaxe handles
When I were just a wee nipper of 18 me and few friends went for a drive after a Sunday night pub visit. What actually insued was half an hour of powersliding a motor all over some field in the middle of nowhereville.

Anyway, that wasn't the scary bit. The scary bit came just as we were driving out another car was coming down the country lane, so I thought I'd let it past, only it didn't pass, it boxed us into the field!

From said car stepped a huge farmer lad carrying a pickaxe handle, and to say he was a litle miffed would be an understatement. His brother seemed a little annoyed about something as well.

Anyway for the best part of 10-15 minutes they threatened to smash us or the car, told us to get out, threatened to put the windows and lights in etc...

I can safely say that is the most frightened I have ever been. And the worst bit was it was entirely my own stupid fault! Eventually they let us go, and I swore never to mess with a farmer again.

Looking back I was a twunt and deserved to have the heebeegeebees scared from my corpus.

If you are that farmer, I'm sorry for ruining your field mate, thanks for not killing me in return.
(Neostenine's maker, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:29, Reply)

24 minutes ago in my car
When the guy in front stopped to read a road sign and didn't realise I was behind him.

Came to a stop after skidding sideways, he went off none the wiser.

I nearly shit my pants.
(Opanoid Look sweats dripping off them, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:25, Reply)

Scared....
Last driving lesson managed to stall car in middle of main road....
(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:23, Reply)

Another car crash...
Deserted road, black ice, 30mph (50kph for you metrics)

Through sheer dint of physics the car went WILDY out of control and I crashed into a ditch at the side of the road. That wasn't the scary bit, it was actually really quite leisurely and amusing.

What made me actually wet myself with fear was the sight of my passenger slumped forward in the seat next to me.

I thought she was dead...

...For about .003 of a second, until she burst out laughing, turned to me and said "You just crashed your car!"

I've never been so scared before or since. Nor do I ever wish to be.

(Yes, she told EVERYONE I wet myself)
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:21, Reply)

Strangers in the night
Sitting on the school terrace late at night in the middle of no where in Carlisle drinking bottles of 20 20. A digital watch beep's and I ask my mate what the time was, he reply's "don't know I haven't got a watch on". We both go silent then at the same time jump up and peg it back to the dorm.

In the morning we went back to where we were sitting and couldn't find a watch. After that we decided it was safer drinking inside.
(Sharmster, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:21, Reply)

Quad bikes
Action! Adventure! The chance to total yourself like Rick Mayall and Ozzy have before you!
Yes, quad bikes have it all... including a somewhat frightening tendency to rocket from a dirt track through chicken wire, wooden posts, tyres and finnaly up a dirt bank, pitching the rather heavy machine onto your prone body as you back flip and attempt unsuccessfully to stop a ton of metal with your chin.
Great pain and suffering not really helped by attendant rushing over, looking between me and the bike for a few moments, plumping for the latter which he rights and dusts off before sitting down for a well earned cigarette break.

Girlish shreaking and purple-black knees are apparently not well liked down in Cornwall.
(mufro, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:15, Reply)

watership down
absolutely f*cking terrifying.

horrible slavering bloodthirsty rabbits with mad red eyes and sharp teeth. what kind of sadistic f*ckwit thought that was a nice friendly idea for a cartoon for kids?

"bright eyes" came on the radio the other morning and i nearly sh*t myself on the a40 just thinking about it. and not just because it is a sh1t song!

edit - i don't mind if guys come first, provided they spend the next 3 days making up for it...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:12, Reply)

Dentist
I've been to the dentist once in 16 years, and I crapped it.

I told him not to touch my teeth with anything metal or I would puke with fear.

But he tried anyway, and I nearly bit his finger off.

He thought I was taking the piss, but I was actually trying to stop myself from running away or puking.

He thinks i got off lucky by not suing me.

I think he got off lucky by NOT seeing my impression of Linda Blair.

I'll be waiting another 16 years before I can go again.
(Jugular, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:09, Reply)

having an affair

Was seeing a lovely lady for a while when her old man decided to give me a call in the middle of the morning after he had been calling all her numbers in her mobile shouting " are you fucking my missus "

So picked up the phone, took a few seconds to work out who it was, had what is known as an adrenal dump - slow motion ahoy, and camly told him to fuck off its 4am.

He never did clock on it was me.
ahh well.
(druncula, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:08, Reply)

Car
Funnily my fourth accident was just as scary - but I was more angry with myself really

My second accident happened to fast for fear to kick in

And the third one was just stupid
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:08, Reply)

bah
Almost got caught in a full riot whilst on holiday in Nepal. Almost shat my self i did.
(Poo_Pipe_Pirate, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:03, Reply)

I still get goose bumps
thinking of the time i crashed my car. Everything seems to happen in slow motion and in deathly silence when it happens. horrible

that or after watching Wolf Creek. John Jarrat's done just a good a job for Oz tourism there as Jade Goody did promoting Britain to India...
(Handel blah blah blah, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 16:02, Reply)

Before my son was born
The anesthetist was dicking around making up all the gunk to inject into his mother. He slipped and dropped the lot on the floor.

I had this wave of panic come over me - "Oh Christ, he doesn't know what he's doing", "Oh poo, it's all going to go wrong."

Apparently I went very pale and just sort of slumped backwards.

The midwives thought it very funny that I'd managed to faint _before_ anything had happened at all.
( chthonic, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 15:58, Reply)

American Werewolf in London
Watched that aged 12-13 with a mate, had to ride back to his house because he was scared... Didn't consider the ride home on my own.... Shat myself.

Had an irrational fear of WW ever since.

Saw dog soldiers again the other night, still getting over it.

The most recent times have been clambering up scaffolding for work... I don't do heights.
Occasionally i have near misses in the car due to idiots coming the other way, that all ways leaves me with a puckered ring
( M o D, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 15:58, Reply)

Car
When I crashed my car for the 1st time, I was scared - it was the uncontrollable motion and knowledge that I couldn't stop the chain of events that I had set in place.

True story.

Ed: Bah - Put a story in man!
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 15:57, Reply)

When my kid was born
No funny, when my kid was born 3 months early.

Edit : He is fine now.


I decided to expand on this a little. It is absolutely terrifying being completely helpless in such a situation. Knowing your first born is sitting in an incubator with wires coming out of him and not being able to do anything but stare at him. After two months of being shuffled from hospital to hospital he finally came home. He is now 8 months old and you would not know he had been born so early to look at him!
(oeb, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 15:53, Reply)

first
I become scared around this every wednesday/thursday when the QOTW answers dry up and random gibberish and off topic comments flood in.

Handel
apologies to the lovely rachelswipe - i'm done before you are :)
(Handel blah blah blah, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 15:52, Reply)