shameful, i am
As a wee lassie of about 4 years younger than I am now, I went to see The Ring at the picture house.

I enjoyed the film and was of course slightly scared.

A week later, almost to the hour, I was pottering around in my room and I sat down on the bed to pick a textbook out of the bookshelf. The television on top of the shelf turned on. All on its own.

A little bit of poo nearly came out, I screamed, and jumped up... only to find I had sat on the remote control.

Uhuh.
(corruptia, Tue 27 Feb 2007, 2:10, Reply)

kind of twattish
Last December, work's christmas party. It was about 9ish and we'd been drinking since 2. We were in a bar by the seafront and the coke starts getting passed around. I was chopping out a line on the toilet lid (only flat surface in there, very classy) but apparently the cubicle doors don't shut properly....found this out when someone opened the door and walked in on me.

It's one of those scared-after-the-event sort of moments...at the time it was just amusing (and happened to my mate exactly the same way about half an hour later) but since then every time I've thought about it I've thought what if it was a bouncer and they'd called the police? My life would have been all kinds of fucked just so I could talk some nonsense shit and stay up later than I really wanted to....oops.

Although realistically they'd have just barred me (no big) and nicked the coke for themselves (it's just money) but ever since then I've had shivers thinking about it. Been a lot more careful since.

length rah.
( yes yes yes man oi mate, someone's writtten 'bum' on your neck, Tue 27 Feb 2007, 1:42, Reply)

Ridin Ridin Ridin
Probably the last time I've been really scared was this past summer, when I went on a bike trip around the canadian rockies (about 100 mi/day, for about 3 weeks). The first time was during training, when we were cruising along, bunny-hopping all the little potholes in the road. So, going about 25 mph, I hop, and one of my friends says something and I look his way. Cue front wheel turning sideways, and my bike decides to stop, without me. I finally realize what's happening when I'm about 6 feet in the air, going about 20 mph, face first towards a very nasty, pothole strewn road. And then my face hit the ground. Not a scratch on my helmet, mind you, but my face looked like it had been run over with a wire brush.

The next couple times ensued on the trip itself. Going down this ungodly huge mountain, and Canadian roads aren't too smoothly paved. I was riding down a shitload of switchbacks, about 30-40 mph, just after hearing the locals saying "My buddy did that, his tire heated up too much, popped, and he went over one of those little (read: 20 ft) cliffs." And the best part? I'm in a large pack, with a half flat rear tire (makes you slide all over the place), with no chance to slow down and just hoping that I don't slip and wipe out 20 people behind me. Fun times, doing it again this summer.
(Random Number, Tue 27 Feb 2007, 0:23, Reply)

Ghostwatch Update
After going out and buying it on DVD today I can say it still has it (even though I know it is a fake now it still had me glued to the screen and is a damn sight more frightening then anything that there Hollywood has bought out in years)
( weekendsession, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 22:59, Reply)

Ghostwatch
argh, im so glad im not the only one who was scared to death of that show!

Just googled it and apparently its the only tv programme to be banned due to giving kids post traumatic stress disorder/ I'm 22 years old and i was too scared to click on the pictures of pipes, i think we should sue!
(idlewildgirl, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 22:58, Reply)

Threads
it's not THAT scary

Threads
(jowl, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 22:37, Reply)

I don't scare easy.
In my 30(ish) *cough* years on this planet I've been in some hairy situations. I've been shot, fought off a crazed chav with a knife, spent 6 months as the only white person in a vey rough part of Jamaica, mugged in amsterdam, attacked numerous times late at night in London, nearly run over by a concrete mixer, almost bombed 3 times (London again) and nearly drowned more than once due to a hearty non-fear of strong tides (and being convinced as a strong swimmer I could outswim them). There's more, but you get the picture.
So you think in one of those incidents I'd have actually been a bit scared. Well, maybe after the event.
The only things that have really come close to scaring me have been a couple of ghostly incidents, but I'll save those stories for another time.

The last thing to put the fear of God into me I can sum up in two words:-
Kamikaze Waterslide

It was in Torremolinos a couple of years ago. An old friend of mine lives in Malaga and I'd popped over for the weekend. We decided on a day at the waterpark with his kids and, after trying all the different slides, there was only one left - the Kamikaze. An almost vertical waterslide, it dominated the skyline over the park and I'd eye'd it ominously, deciding that there was no way I was going near it.
My mates kids were only a couple of years old, so thankfully they were not badgering anybody to go on it.
I don't know how, but somehow my mate and me got into taking the piss out of eachother saying it looked "easy" and we didn't reckon it looked that high. We've got a history of taking the piss out of eachother and taking it too far, so a few minutes later, we're climbing the stairs to the top of the ride.
I think at this point neither of us had any real intention of actually going on the ride. This was confirmed when we stopped halfway up (it was fucking high) to admire the view. He looked at me and said in a shaky voice "We don't have to do it, if it looks to high we can just go back down the stairs".
This was something I wanted to do already, but didnt want to admit. So, alot of heavy climbing (and black spots before my eyes) later, we were at the top.
There was a small queue of kids and a group of young, bikini clad spanish girls chatting and watching the kids. It was at this point we realised that if we didn't do it, we would look like complete and utter prats to these girls and to the kids coming up behind us.
With a heavy hear, the attendant made me sit on the slide with my feet dangling over the edge. I peaked over the edge and could only see the bottom of the slide. It was so near vertical that I couldn't even see it. This was the moment that I discovered that I have vertigo (I'd never given it a moments thought before then).
The attendent explained that I had to cross my arms over my chest and cross my legs and he'd push me over.
I never thought I'd be able to peel my fingers off the rail, but somehow I was able to do it. as soon as he pushed me over, I fell like a stone, arms and legs wailing, trying to gain any purchase.
This was when I realised that my vertigo was actually a fear of falling and the only reason why I didn't leave a midair shit-trail, is that my shorts were forced up my arse by the g-force of my fall.
When I hit the bottom and somehow managed to crawl on my hands an knees away from this torture device, I was berated by the guard at the bottom for not crossing my arms and legs. If I'd had any coordination left I'd have probably swung for him.

The same thing happened to my mate who came 'falling' down after me and for weeks we'd have flashbacks and go white.
How those kids were throwing themselves off and then running straight back up for another go, I'll never know.

This was about four years ago and I still have the occasional nightmare about it.

Well, would you look at the size of that? Not bad for my first post ;P
(EvilMeister, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 22:09, Reply)

Scared
18 month old daughter taken to the doctors for "A slight cold" (said one doctor) diagnosed with pnumonia. Scared? Nothing comes close.
She's fine. First doctor remains a cunt until the day he dies.
(DustyD, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 22:05, Reply)

Re:Unecessary film.
Yes, I d'loaded Threads some time ago and have it on my hard drive. STILL find it difficult to watch 23 years later...........
(niknak, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 22:05, Reply)

Egyptair
Coming into land on Egyptair at Heathrow with a crosswind. So close to shitting my pants.
( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 22:04, Reply)

Unecessary film
Anyone heard of Threads? It was made by the BBC in the early 80s and is basically a sort of mock documentary showing what would happen if there was a full nuclear exchange between the superpowers. My dad, in his infinite wisdom, showed me this film at the age of 10, I was fucking traumatised; there is no limit to the foul shit they put in that film: deformed babies, dead grandparents, people getting arms amputated with a saw, a dog eating someone, a bunker full of dead officials, its a fucking rotten film. Have a look on IMDB

ps. I believe it got a mention in these hallowed halls as having a character listed as "Woman who wets herself"
Hurrah!
(leningradcowboy, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 21:54, Reply)

Pedants, Pedants, Pedants....
On behalf of the comittee,

Fuck off. The pair of you.
(Mong The Merciless Older not wiser, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 21:50, Reply)

waking the dead (or waking up dead)
I am epilleptic. epilleptic people like myself can suffer seizures due to many different reasons, and we can sometimes find ourselves waking up not knowing where the fuck we are. or how we got there. this one story is a good'un...............................

(nb-all this happened BEFORE i was diagnosed) there i was, on holiday, i was in JUMBO, a big shopping centre thingy in portugal with my dear old mum, i was 16. i decided to wander off and get some fags. i walked down the esculator toward the fag counter, (suffered a big fit) and woke up feeling terrible, bleary eyed, tucked into a cold bed in a dark room. i couldnt feel anything. i could just about move, but i felt totally numb. WTF?!?!?!? i thought to myself.. this had never happened before. as my eyes gradually allowed light to enter them, i noticed a dead bloke lying in a similar bed next to me. FUCK, I'M IN THE MORGUE, I'M DEAD, SHIT! I'M FUCKING DEAD!! i thought. i was convinced i would spend my eternity inside my cold, dead body for my sins (being a big cunt) during childhood.... that was ABSOLUTLEY TERRIFYING. and horrible. he stank. i turned out to be at the local hospital in the "intensive care unit"....... cant remember much more of that day. dont want to either.
(mr kyle he's a silly bastard, the one who posted before me, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 21:38, Reply)

Nicely baked
after a few joints. Started seeing sparks out of the corner of my eye. Looked up - whew - I'm not seeing things - those moths are flying into that lamp and setting themselves on fire.
Cue walk home - started seeing skeletons. Now that WAS scary.
(Dooley, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 21:31, Reply)

As an apology, here's a proper story
Parents away, my brother and I are looking after the house on our own. With the cat. The same cat who once skinned a bird in one piece. Psycho.

Anyway, I get up one morning, I'm brushing my hair and walking across my room. I feel something under my foot, and i look down. Mouse head.

Screaming, I run out of my room, away from my cat's 'present'. My brother comes out of his room and watches me run down the stairs, works out what's happened, and hatches an evil plan. He runs down after me, grabs 2 plastic bags from the kitchen - one sainsbury's, one small clear sandwich bag. He then takes the bags upstairs, and comes down with the head in a sainsbury's, wrapped in turn in a clear plastic bag. He goes into the kitchen for a moment, then runs out again, screeching "MOUSE HEAD, MOUSE HEAD, MOUSE HEAD!!!" whilst brandishing the bag at me.

After much running and squealing on my part, he eventually chases me out of the house, into public. Then he throws the bag at me, sending me into total fits of hysteria. And only then reveals the EVIL.

The little bastard, on his second trip to the kitchen, put the mousehead/sainsburys bag/clear bag in the bin, then placed a different but identical sainsburys bag in a different but identical clear sandwich bag. And then chased me round the house with it. Making me think it had a mouse head inside.

This is pretty sophisticated evil for a thirteen year old. Not only did he get a kick out of making me scream, but had the added pleasure of knowing there was nothing worth screaming about.

He is evil.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 21:17, Reply)

Ghostwatch was mindpiss ...
Rentaghost? Now that was fucking scary
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 21:06, Reply)

Upside Down, And Backwards
Made first trip ever outside USA, to Australia. Couldn't believe stories until I saw it with my own eyes - they drive on the left hand side of the road there! Instant death loomed around every corner!
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 20:58, Reply)

I hate posting like this in a QOTW
but I just have to say - I know the fellow who wrote Ghostwatch quite well, and he gets such a delight in knowing it's scarred an entire generation. As you would. I tell him you all said hi*

*whilst probably simultaneously pulling your hair out in fear, i imagine
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 20:58, Reply)

Last one
I also got a bit of a fright this morning - I was in the changing rooms at my gym (no, not THAT kind of fright) when who should walk in but Gordon Brown, the Chancellor (+ most non-scary security ever witnessed. A man in a fleece with a walkie-talkie...). I saw him in his pants and that was not something I would like to see again, thank you kindly. Funny to think that the man who counts my taxes wears blue Y-fronts.

My wife doesn't believe me. She thinks he's a boxer shorts type.
( Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 20:37, Reply)

Pigeon death
I am shit scared of low flying birds, especially pigeons. I think they are going to fly into my face and eat my eyes. My glasses can't protect me. When they swoop down from buildings and land on the pavement in front of me I flinch like I've just been slapped and everyone laughs. Cunts. I also got shat on by a Pterodactyl in the beer garden of a Chelsea pub once. They are out to get me, I SWEAR IT!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!
( Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 20:26, Reply)

erm, about 15
I was shit bored at work and decided to, in my childish wisdom, sniff tipex. Cue my head spinning out and me paniking like a nutter thinking I'm gonna die. I was in hospital for quite a while after that.
( SiX and his hat, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 20:01, Reply)

Earlier today, actually
Riding home from work, slowed down in my village to let cars come through the other way. Went to pull away and immediately felt something not quite right with the back wheel. I pull in, get off, and find the back tyre as flat as Kate Moss's chest. Disgruntled, but not too inconvenienced, I push the bike (which was bloody difficult with only one working wheel) home and set about getting it sorted.

The scary part came a few hours later when discussing it with friends - one of whom jokingly said "phew, good thing you weren't on the bypass when it went, eh?". That was when it hit me just how fucking lucky I was - if it had burst 180 seconds earlier while I was doing around a good ton 70 mph, officer, then I'd be naught but a rusty brown smear on the Canterbury to Dover road. That scared me.
(jamesthegill opens new tabs with his scroll wheel, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 19:05, Reply)

Me, The wife & the tropical storm
Honeymoon last year. Australia, New Zealand and Fiji over a month. The last place we are staying is a island resort in Fiji, 34 huts on an isolated island. Only way there that we know of is a 2 hour boat trip.

We land at Nadi airport, and it's raining hard. I mean coming in at angles. Wind up to Gale force 6. We go down to the docks, and they have a big Katamaran to take us to the island. We get on, the crossing to the 1st drop off point is rough.

When I say drop off point, I mean "lets put you over the side of the boat and into a basic 3 man canoe, and you get to sure in 6 ft swells."

We go on for anothe couple of drops, and the weather is getting worse. The Captain pulls over in one of the hotel Lagoons, and gets on the loud speaker. "The weather is too rough, we are pulling over for an hour or two to see if it clears".

We wait 4 hours, and our captain comes along to say a bigger boat has arrived and everything is fine to go. It still looks like a tornado out there and we are piled onto a boat that I wouldn't trust to cross the a brook. It's about 20ft long, flat hulled and looks as though Noah rejected it as a possible Ark.

Off we sail. The captain (according to the crew, the most skilled plot in the waters) is conecntrating so hard he's sweating, the other crew have the life preservers on, and we are all sitting there in shorts and t-shirts. I hate being on deep water, and I'm shitting bricks. My wife is pregnant, and isn't a good swimmer. The swells are about 8ft, and water is coming in at various points on the ship. I'm seeing which island is closest in case we have to swim! I have never been so scared in my life. I was whiter than Powder...

AFter 2 hours of a supposed 45 minute journey, the Captain has contacted the local coast guard saying that the GPS has gone down and he's not sure where he is. All of a sudden, we hit something, and the front of the boat is pointing up at a 30 degree angles. I'll be honest, I screamed and pissed myself at this moment.

By blind luck, he's ran into the coral reef protecting the island we are supposed to be staying on. We are still about 500 yds out, and the resort are sending out little boats to take us in. I asked the pilot how deep the lagoon is "About 4 ft", he replies. I jumped off the front of the boat with the wife and we waded to shore. The other 12 people on the boat do the same. We get on shore, and they offer us whisky and sedatives, and a refund of £100 for all the passengers in the boat.

The next morning we looked out of our room into the relative calm, and see our boat, floating upside down, about 100 yds out to sea.

I paid £230 for a private helicopter to pick us up from the Island on the way back, and I haven't been in a boat since.
(gjb006, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 18:51, Reply)

Monty Boyce, Monty Boyce, Monty Boyce
My dear, dear fellow.
Far be it for me to disagree, or stray from the topic, but I do feel compelled to reply on this occasion.
I must confess I haven't seen Andrew Lloyd Webber's stage version of "The Woman in White", not being a great one for musicals.
Does it contain a scene where, reaching for the door, the lead in the play suddenly hears an ear-piercing scream, a scream also heard in the theatre and reducing the usual school parties to hysterics, as accurately described by our previous poster?
No? Oh of course not, I remember, that's the Woman in BLACK, a long running play in the Fortune Theatre, London, based on a novel by Susan Hill.
Sorry to be so vulgar as to engage in debate on a public forum, but the idea of being wrong about something even for one moment makes me feel physically sick.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 18:36, Reply)

The cruel French
On a family holiday, about 1981. On the way back home from the South of France we stop in a forest for lunch. After eating the usual baguette, cheese and foul French biscuits (they don't really "get" biscuits), we go for a little wander. In a clearing we find traps and lots of little finches in cages. So, being the English animal lovers that we are, we let them go, every single one.

Walking back to the car we pass a French bloke with a gun under his arm heading where we've come from. Oh dear. As we get into the car he turns up waving his gun and ranting what we can only assume were French obscenities. My father gets us the hell out of there in a cloud of dust, and then spends an hour taking random side roads and doubling back in case Birdman is trying to follow us.

We were glad to catch the ferry that night, out of reach of the gendarmerie.
(rogerzilla, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 17:56, Reply)

Center Parcs, about 4 years ago...
...me and my friend had rented mountain bikes to cycle around the complex instead of walking. We'd had a few jars in the random pub there and were heading back to the chalet at about 11pm. We decided to go on an adventure - the quickest route was untracked woodland but, quite nicely, it was all downhill. We were both big lads - 6' by that point. We raced down the hill and, whilst both chatting after reaching a nice cruising speed, we heard a rustle in the bushes ahead. The bush was going absolutely fucking mental, and we were absolutely bricking it.

At that point, what must have been about 5 rabbits and a fucking BADGER raced out of the hedge at roughly 70,000mph. We didn't have time to react, we both screamed, and we both went separate directions around the bush. I went left, launched off a tree root, flew through the air and landed absolutely PERFECTLY on the track ahead. I cheered and raised my arms, before plowing over the other side and into a stream. Probably my shortest lived moment of triumph, and no fucker was there to see it.

I heard Jon still screaming, so I picked myself up. What had happened? I thought he'd done a Sonny and whacked a tree. I stumbled up the hill to see that he'd been violated by his bike seat. It took a swift kick of justice to the left arse cheek to remove him. He walked like John Wayne for the rest of the holiday.

The screaming was the most chilling thing I've ever heard, especially in the dimly lit forest. Then again, what would you do if you'd lost your anal virginity to a 4-year-old mountain bike caused by rabbits and a badger?
( TGP on the rock 'n' roll, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 17:28, Reply)

Feckin Cat
Had spent the best part of the afternoon putting a load of stuff up into our loft and arranging the crap and useless shite we had amassed up there in to some sort of order.

Had a few beers, went to bed.

Woken up at about 3.00am with the whole lot crashing down on me, ceiling and everything. Seemed like it anyway for a good few seconds, then realised the cat had taken that moment to practise diving off the wardrobe on to the bed.

Cue loud cursing, me nearly pissing and shitting the bed and the cat flying the length of the bedroom thanks to my left foot. Took me ages to stop shaking and get back to sleep again. Bastard!!
(brocky, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 16:50, Reply)

Coal Fire mis-hap
My Gran used to have a coal fire, which at 13 I thought was pretty cool, used to love loading more coal on and cooking toast on it.

One day I was messing around outside with a couple of mates when I had the great idea that I could take the protective covering off the back of the fire from outside and wave at her while she was inside and give her a nice suprise.

Got it off no problem, but rather than seeing my Gran sitting there with a cup of tea waving merrily back at me while she watched Countdown, I was engulfed in smoke and had a burning sensation for my eyebrows.

Next thing, my Gran is running round outside to find out what the Hell is going on as her living room is also full of smoke and sparks are flying everywhere all over her house.

I've never seen her so angry and pissed off even to this day and am ashamed to admit I ran home and hid in my bedroom I was that scared I'd managed to burn her house down.

Luckily, my Dad was on hand to put the back of the fire back on again so apart from a house full of smoke there was no long term damage, although it was a good while later that I was golden boy once again for her
(brocky, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 16:45, Reply)