Oh Noes, Teh Horrorz.


This, as the more astute of you will have picked up, is a can of Relentless, a caffeine drink, higher in caffeine content and sheer volume than your standard Red Bull. It is, at the best of times, a fantastically effective relief for tiredness, for a hard day at uni, or if you don't want to sleep for any reason.

However, it can be taken too far. I was up all night talking to a friend of mine and I felt myself dropping off at around 5:30. So off I go down to SPAR and find this genius invention not only in strangely large supply, but on special offer (2 for £2 if you're interested). 'Aha!', thinks I, 'Sweet elixir!'. And 4 500ml cans are duly purchased. Yes Carol fecking Vorderman, that IS 2 litres of heavily caffeinated fluid.

I continued my conversation until about 8 o'clock when she had to go, and I felt good - ready for the day ahead (a few lectures and a lunch in the pub with a friend), and happy in the knowledge that by the next morning, my sleep patterns would be well on their way to normality.

Ahhh Tom, how naive can you be?

Very, it turns out.

I carried a can around with me at uni, occasionally topping myself up when I felt lousy, and all was well, lunch was nice (even if I was a lil shaky and hyper), yadda yadda, I was fine.

Until I came back home. I sat at the computer, doing a bit of work, being generally ignorant of the world around me, when my stomach turned and I felt possibly the most violently ill I have ever felt in my life; hot + cold sweats, uncontrollably shaking hands + legs, and an incredible pain which led to the notion I was going to vomit.

This is where I should tell you that, since being a child, I have had an unreal reaction to vomit. I get very upset, panicky and I just generally hate it, which probably leads to my reluctance towards alcohol (most of the time).

I rushed around the hall of the flat, freaking out and trying to calm myself down so I didn't do myself an injury or make any sharp movements which would lead to me throwing up. I went to the kitchen, got a glass of water and continued wandering around aimlessly. By my second glass of water, I had thrown my jacket on and was meandering around the confines of the carpark outside my window, being very upset and wondering what the hell to do.

I walked back into the flat, continued sipping my water and attempted calm conversation with my flatmate. This worked for a while before I felt terrible again. Continue this sequence in various order for about 20 minutes, and I started feeling calmer and not as unwell.

It was only when the feeling had completely disappeared 24 hours later that I realised that I may have overdosed on caffeine. Seriously.

Don't do it kids.
(I R Tomsk pyromaniacs will only inflame the situation, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 16:23, Reply)