Kids, don't you just love 'em?
Other parents will understand this:

My wife was away on business and the outpouring from my loins was running a temperature; cue a day off watching kiddies programs trying to amuse said outpouring. I took her to the quacks in the morning and was given bottle of jollop, which she was promptly fed. Come mid afternoon she is looking pale and very floppy, so I call the wife who tells me to give her an early bath. Getting her undressed I notice a rather large brownish rash on her legs and belly. I get a glass and do the test to find that the bloody thing is not blanching, so there is a high chance it could be the dreaded Meningitis.

One phone call to the doctor and I’m legging it round to the surgery with a rather floppy child. He gives her an inspection and calls the local hospital and gets an ambulance sent over very quickly.

The ambulance ride was fun, but sprog starts having some severe trouble breathing and ends up being given oxygen. We turn up at the hospital where a team of 6 medical staff is waiting with a gurney. One of the rather excited looking doctors explained to me this is the first case they have had in the hospital for six years. They rush her in, rip off her clothes and start running tests. Things start looking grim and a nurse turns to me and says they need to put her in isolation but they have one test to run prior to doing so, she grabs a swab dips it into some solution (alcohol of some sort) and she rubs it across the rash, which promptly comes off. The little bugger had only drawn on herself with felt tip in such a realistic way. Much embarrassment on my part but my heart at least stopped jumping around.

Turns out to just be a severe cold and the ambulance ride must have got her a bit excited, hence the lack of breath.
(thegripesofwrath, Tue 27 Feb 2007, 11:31, Reply)