The Shame...
When I was young I spent a couple of years after A Levels (which weren’t good enough to get me into the Uni I wanted) bumming around, working temp/bar jobs then back-packing, grape picking etc. Actually ended up with possibly the best job in the World (if you ignore the pay). I was in Nice in the South of France working for a guy called Jean-Claude who sold sugar coated peanuts on the beach. As this was illegal, I acted as a lookout for him, walking along the Promenade des Anglais (appropriately enough), keeping pace with him on the beach below. When ‘les flics’ turned up, I’d turn to him, wave and shout “Hey John!”, as if I’d spotted a mate, he’d duck down until they’d gone. So, I was getting paid for ogling topless women all day and topping up a tan.

Did I regret any of this? No, but bear with me.

I was part of a group of mainly English speakers that hung out together, Brits, Irish, Aussies etc. sound as a pound to a man…except for a couple of nasty-minded English boys. One day, a couple of the gang were leaving, both Londoners, one was Jewish, the other of Italian extraction – nice lads. We saw them off and returned to the beach.

At this point, nasty piece of work No.1 (can’t remember his name) started spouting an extreme anti-semitic tirade. His favourite anecdote was how he put dogshit through a Rabbi’s letterbox. Now, for those of you that didn’t know, my grandfather changed his name from Greenberg to Grimsdale* to appear less German during WWI. I’m not immediately Jewish-looking and this nazi had obviously no idea that I was.

Regret? Not saying a frigging word at this point, not punching him in his horrid face. In fact, no-one said a word, to be fair, they got the message that their views weren’t generally held and they were shunned from that moment on, but the private torment, the churning shame of that moment burn in me to this day. I can’t explain it really except to say that all my life I’ve shied away from trouble, I am, I suppose, a coward.

If you’ve never seen ‘A Gentleman’s Agreement’ starring Gregory Peck, try to catch it some time, it may help you to understand me.

Enough therapy for one week…normal service will be resumed shortly.

*Well, you get the idea
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 13:58, Reply)