One I've just remembered
And unfortunately it involves sex, just like seemingly all the other answers to this question.

Three years ago. I was 17 and had a gay friend who introduced me to his stunningly beautiful best mate, let's call her Sophie (for that was her name). I'd liked her ever since first meeting her, and I got the feeling she liked me too, despite me being a complete pisshead and a bit of a druggie at the time (which is probably why she wouldn't admit it to anyone.)

Fast forward 12 months, I'd organised a house party at the gay guy's house and I think I was the only straight bloke there. I brought decks, a soundsystem, lots of banging tunes, and even lighting. The party went well, I spun tunes until 5 in the morning then the combined effects of the night's indulgence overtook me and I ended up collapsing on the floor of the bedroom upstairs, with 4 of my other mates sleeping on the double bed.

I'm just beginning to get to sleep when in walks Sophie, who lies down next to me on the floor, snuggles up to me, and starts kissing me.

"Weyhey!" I think, things develop, my hand moves down her nubile body, I start fingering her, her hand moves down into my pants...

er, fuck.

Could I get it up after a night of caning whizz and pills?

No, could I fuck as like.

Doh.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Wed 11 Oct 2006, 16:54, Reply)