Ah, how could i forget..
An ex girlfriend of mine definitely qualifies for batshit crazy, if not winning first prize. Repeat offender of the 'look at me do something mental, look at my mood swings, look at me give you 5 seconds of handjob then get all rape victim when you're confused as to why I stopped' game. Damn mental bitch.

Favourite one was pretending to break up with me, just to watch me beg and squirm. Didn't take me long to get smart, so eventually I'd say "cool, sounds good. Later." That scared the crap out of her, I was only joking of course. Why didn't I actually leave? You know why. She was fffffiiinnnneeee.

One day at her parents house she decided to throw a strop on me, to this day I have no reason what I did wrong. She could be a venomous bitch at times, and that day she was setting new records. "Don't even look at me, MunchMyBalloons, you make me sick£ you're worthless, pathetic, I don't even know why I'm with you", now I was used to all this (but like I said, she was fffiiinnnneee!) so I gave my now standard reply of "sure, ill leave, see ya!" This time she didn't beg or apologise, simply stood between me and the door, moving side to side like a psycho crab-bitch so I couldn't leave. It was like some stupid game of space invaders, where she is the teeming horde of aliens. Okay, it wasn't actually anything like space invaders, but she was still pretty similar to a teeming horde of aliens. I digress. Anyway, my solution to this was to calmly, sensibly, place my hands on her shoulders (not violent, or even calm-violent), and simply pivot round her to freedom. Her response? Fall on the floor in fits of pain induced tears. "You hit me! You monster! Don't come near me, don't touch me! Ill scream! Ill get my parents on you! Don't even think abo-"

Ok bye.

And I was gone.
She has since been engaged twice, faked 3 pregnancies, and lost all those close to her due to her inane storytelling. I think I was lucky to get out.

Lessons learned? Would I do it again? Fuck yeah! She was fiiiiinnnnnnneeeee!
(MunchMyBalloons, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 1:39, 3 replies)

You would do it again? Really?
3 fake pregnancies? Remember, one of those fakes could have been you. Been there, it's not fun. Not when you're strung along for six months thinking she is but getting suspicious, then her "losing" it and stacking another implausible story on top of the last ten and you finally walk away...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 10:20, closed)

No no, i think you're missing the point...
she was fffffiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeee!!!!!
(don5nake, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 11:57, closed)

^this^

( miltonlives on, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 17:24, closed)