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This is a question Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

Many years ago, I went out with a chef. Kitchens are merely vice dens with food. You couldn't move for people bonking and snorting coke in the store room. And the things they did with the food...

My personal vice was chocolate mousse - I remember it being very calming in all the chaos around me. I think they put things in it.

Tell us your stories of working in kitchens, bars and the rest of the nightmare that is the catering trade.

(, Fri 21 Jul 2006, 9:58)
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Towel Whippin' Good!
Used to work in a great restaurant as a Kitchen Porter (washer upper and general skivvy)

The problem with this place was that the electrics used to be a bit dodgey and the circuit breaker would trip if it got too hot, which was usually every bloody day! Sometimes this thing would switch itself off after about 10 seconds of being back on so I spent a lot of time fiddling with this damned switch when on day it decided to electrocute me with a fuck off huge blue spark. Needless to this was quite painful and I got a nice burn on my finger. The restarant plunged into darkness so everyone had to have candles on there tables and we had to cook everything on gas. I still had to finish my shift though!

Although I nearly died there I still loved it. The waitresses were easy to pull students up for a good time and boy did we have some good times!

The funniest thing was whipping people with my tea-towel o' death(tm). I gave the chef a lashing every time he bought over a burnt pot and drew blood on several occasions, although I did get whipped a fair few times myself... To settle the score me the other KP and I went to the back yard and had a towel whipping contest against the 2 chefs until either chef's or KP's started crying. Unfortunately no one cried and the whipping went on for a long time.

Fuck did that hurt!

Even though be whipped the shit out of each other we still were good mates used to stay behind after closing and get wasted, do drugs and generally had a laugh. The restaraunt is closed down now though


Tip of the week!

To get extra pain in your towel-flick make sure the end of the tea towel you are hitting your gimp with is nice and soaking wet, garaunteed to draw blood if it touches bare skin!
(, Fri 21 Jul 2006, 13:40, Reply)

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