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This is a question Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

Many years ago, I went out with a chef. Kitchens are merely vice dens with food. You couldn't move for people bonking and snorting coke in the store room. And the things they did with the food...

My personal vice was chocolate mousse - I remember it being very calming in all the chaos around me. I think they put things in it.

Tell us your stories of working in kitchens, bars and the rest of the nightmare that is the catering trade.

(, Fri 21 Jul 2006, 9:58)
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Student days
I used to work in the Queens in Liverpool, right near the crown court. It was a dive, but it sold cheap food and cheap beer, so it was very popular. Also, we'd have the joys of everyone from the courts coming in, ranging from very camp Lawyers (one especially who offered £100 to anyone behind the bar to s*ck him off in the loo) to the classic Scouser in a tracksuit having just been sent down.

Anyhow, there were many stories that could be told, but a couple stick in my mind.

1) After one shift on Paddy's Night, we were all going out into town. If you have ever been to Liverpool on Paddys, you know how busy it is. It ends up that the only place we could get in was a bar we went to every night around the corner, but they had a private party so would we mind serving ourselves. Not a problem. Much Guiness and Dark rum later, 8 of us decide to crash back at the pub.

At the time I had a girlfriend at home; one of the barmaids had a boyfriend at home. 2 randy students, big pub. Alcohol fuelled. Ahem.

Next morning, woke up behind the bar with an empty bottle of champagne, 2 glasses, a naked lady and a grin on my face. This was until my boss runs into the bar, shouts "everyone up, district manager is here, get upstairs into the flat..."

We all dart upstairs, 8 semi-naked people all suddenly very coincious of not being fully dressed in front of our co-workers, all hiding in the kitchen of our bosses flat while she's downstairs telling the area manager that we all deserve pay rises!! Brilliant.

2) Had one customer that was a complete twat. Came in every thursday at 204pm, we stop serving food at 2pm. Then moans, rings our area manager who plays golf with him and gets him to re-open the kitchen. One time he turns up with about 13 mates, all sit down, order, eat, and then the final part, he orders the bill. I walk over, and we had one of the 1st portable signiture machines. He asks were he write the tip, and he scrawls something. I ask to check it, and the dozy f*cker has put a tip of £250 down. I hand it back and say "Would you like to check this sir before I confirm the transaction?"

"No, I'm sure I did it right, it's a simple machine little boy." Paid for the entire staff to get wankered on the next weekend!!
(, Fri 21 Jul 2006, 14:10, Reply)

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