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Many years ago, I went out with a chef. Kitchens are merely vice dens with food. You couldn't move for people bonking and snorting coke in the store room. And the things they did with the food...
My personal vice was chocolate mousse - I remember it being very calming in all the chaos around me. I think they put things in it.
Tell us your stories of working in kitchens, bars and the rest of the nightmare that is the catering trade.
( , Fri 21 Jul 2006, 9:58)
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I used to work in a Costa coffee...
The shop was basically just smelly and dirty. Our manager was such a tight fisted bint that she would sell the expired cakes and pastries just so her waste levels weren't too high.
The place was in the center of town so we constantly had druggies going downstairs to use the toilets. At the end of the night we were expected to clean up roach heads and burnt tin foil from the toilet cubicles...
and if you ever thought that women were innocent creatures with poo that smells like flowers... forget it! The nasty shit they used to leave in the women's toilet will scar me for life
The problem with the shop was that everything was served in front of the customer which made sabotaging cunt's drinks quite difficult. Thankfully you could get around this by walking into the back to 'get a clean cup'. A quick rummage in your boxers and a smear around the rim of the cup and you're all set :)
The other thing to do was that there was always a dishcloth around to wipe up the spilt coffe on the counters, so if some guy really annoyed you you could quickly wring out the dirty dishcloth into his drink while you had your back turned to pour it. The taste of coffee disguises anything so it wasn't difficult to do.
That said sometimes we did some fun things at work... I used to take my amplifier and portable CD player and jack into the sound system that played an endless loop of easy listening pap. We got to listen to the delights of post hardcore while we worked, much to the dismay of the customers.
The shop makes this crushed ice drink mixed with syrup, so we experimented with mixing in anything in the blender we could get our hands on to try and create the perfect drink. The best one we made was a chocolate muffin ice drink... the worst one was the tea flavoured one :S The thing was we blended up so many solid objects we kept breaking the blenders. When the shop got onto it's third blender in so many months they started to get suspicious
( , Sat 22 Jul 2006, 1:51, Reply)
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