Urinals
Ok, working in a pretty well frequented bar in nottingham.

Unfortunately due to the unsupervised quick access to the toilets, people often dove in with the sole intention of a quick bit of public convencience based vandalism or offloading coat hangers from their cashless 'shopping' spree around the corner.

Said incident revolves around some bastard (assumably burberry clad) entering the conveniences and smashing the only crapper in the building to pieces. Right before christmas. The out of order notice was a work of sheer genius, stating that "someone had opted to spread peace and love to all men by vandalising the toilets."

Unfortunately, without a handily located public convenience, rather than popping around the corner to deficate in working toilets, people opted for sinks and urinals. Even worse for me (and somewhat fortunately, but that's another story for another question...) I was one of the only males working in the establishment, and rather annoyingly the only male working that particular evening.

I'm used to the urinals being blocked thanks to the rather archaic drainage system. Nothing prepared me for the site of what could only be described as a trough full of faecal matter, partially watered into a liquidy mess by people who opted to contribute to the situation rather than tell me.

The smell was the first thing to tell me something was amiss, and unfortunately it was down to me to clean the fucking thing.

Bucket, mop, air freshner and bleach were my weapons of choice. 30 minutes it took me to clean that mess up. I threw up as well adding to the problem at one point, I doubt jesus himself could find fault with me at the time though. It's pretty amazing how long it takes to water down that much crap so it will filter down a drain. I was tempted to get a pressure washer to do it with, but the spray back would have made this so much worse. Or interesting, if you're fucking weird like that.

I'd love to say that I ended up using it in a casserole, or something like that, but i'm just not that much of a cunt.

On a side note though, I remember on one occassion someone had managed to obtain a used tampon and threw it across the room... I was tempted to use it as a novelty stirrer for bloody marys.
( Muns, Thu 27 Jul 2006, 1:01, Reply)