mother and baby /disabled spaces
i agree that you shouldn't use either if they don't apply.

however, in my case, it was 9pm at night, the supermarket was deserted and i had just spent 90 mins doing my hair and makeup for an evening round at the bedshitter's (back when i still really liked him and it was all shiny and new).

i drove into tesco at hammersmith to buy some wine, and it was really pissing it down. so i parked in the furthest mother and baby spot as it meant i could walk all the way in under a roof. it was miles away from the door. there were ordinary spaces ironically situated much nearer the door but in the wet. and it was 9pm on a sat night. the place was pretty much deserted.

so i come out awash with wine and condoms, and there's a big 4 x 4 blocking me in. i assume he's waiting for someone, so i wait for a bit. no movement. then i put my car in reverse to give him a gentle hint. nothing. so i beep. NOTHING.

at this point i realise. oh joy oh rapture, it's a rare twat. so i get out, pulling my jumper over my head to stop the sleek shiny hair from becoming wet wiry pubes. i knocked on the window and the loser, whose car was seething with horrid children, opened it. i said politely, "please could you move your car?"

and he said, "nope. not until that small child i assume you're waiting for comes out of the supermarket." i looked at the myriad of empty spaces, and something snapped. why the f*ck did this guy not have anything better to do?!

"first of all," i said, "there are hundreds of more convenient spaces for you. it is not as if i used a spot in the rush hour and stopped you from doing anything. second of all, if you don't move right now, i will re-educate your children with some very choice words. and finally, i will get security to move you in any event."

he shrugged. so i said loudly, "children. your daddy is a sad, sad little man who will always embarrass you in front of everyone." then i looked at him and said, "why don't people like YOU realise that bringing an entire f*cking carful of your horrible loud shrieking children to the supermarket does not exactly enhance the shopping experience of everyone else in it?"

then i got security to move him. which of course they did. he was being utterly obnoxious for no reason. and the security guard there loves me and asks me out every time i go in, so i knew damn well he'd be on my side.

ugh what an absolute and total weapon.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:03, Reply)