While I think of something new,
Have this tangentially related pearoast of when I headed off with just me and a car to South Florida:



Part I: b3ta.com/questions/cougars/post319969

Part II: b3ta.com/questions/cougars/post320702

So, where were we?

Oh yes, your reluctant protaganist had just been pissed on in a bathroom in Miami by an actress 13 years his senior who he had known for less than a week. That about covers it.

(The original plan had been the other way round, but one thing these fetishists don't tell you is how hard it is for a man to direct things when he's 'excited'.)

Ahem.

Anyway.

I basically stayed with her for the rest of my holiday. I had an amazing time. There were times we even seemed just like a normal couple, with her added sparkle on top.


We went to the cinema, to see Zoolander. (blow job in the cinema; We drove across to Sanibel (shagged in the sea in front of a crowded beach; We went to South Beach (drank a bottle of vodka between us and then fucked on the sand; We rented a video (I am assuming you can guess which kind;
We sat on her porch and watched the sun come up after being up all night (vodka was again involved, and I missed the sun coming up because I couldn't see it with my face between her legs; We went to the aquarium (and, trust me there are LOTS of dark corners in an aquarium, you can get away with murder;
We went to Key Biscayne (where she asked me to bugger her over the bonnet of her car. I obliged)

There are many things I did with Miami Actress that I have not done before or since. But two stick out in my mind more than any. The nudist beach, the name of which I forget, but it's a long drive from South Beach. I think the name was pushed from my mind by the overwhelming memory of getting a very unsubtle hand job and then being straddled in the middle of the beach with no one batting an eyelid around us.

And the sex shop.

I can't pretend to be naive, I'd been in an American sex shop before. I’d been in the peep booth. I'd seen the holes in the walls, and I knew what they were for. I had, however, never used one until she pushed me into one booth then went into the one next door. You know the rest, I'm sure.

And, still amongst all this were long, long nights of listening to music, discussing books and plays and films and the famous people she'd worked with (her Ronnie Wood stories I still repeat to people today), our pasts, our regrets and hopes. All fuelled by glass after glass of straight vodka and ice. But, and now, dear reader, if you are just here for the titillation, I suggest you stop reading, because I am going to get serious. Among all this, she was a kind, caring, wise, gentle soul. She was a sex crazed alkie, but a kind, caring, wise, gentle soul nonetheless. We talked a lot. About everything.And this carried on long, long after my holiday was over and I was back home starting to rebuild my life from the state it had been in before I had left.

We talked regularly. She talked to me all night a couple of times when I was at risk of sliding back. She gave me the strength to change my job, move house, cut down my drinking and help me pull my life back together. I shaped up, I got better. We talked non stop on September 12 of that year. About what had happened the day before, about life, about what we wanted, where we were going We decided we wanted to see each other again before we moved on with our lives. Before the month was out, I was back in Miami.

Things were more sedate this time, largely because we were both drinking far less. But it was an amazing two weeks still. Another two weeks for which I will always be grateful. I last saw her in early 2002. She'd known Charlotte Coleman (the short spikey girl from 4 weddings, who had died in late 2001) and was over for a fundraising/memorial thing. This time we met as friends,nothing more and we parted the same way. We'd both calmed down completely, and she told me she'd met someone. I was in the very early stages of a relationship too. She's married now. Living in a big house in South Florida and is a very successful theatrical actress.

One day I'll pick up the phone and say hello again. But at the moment I am happy with the memory of what we had. How she energised my life and turned me around when I was the lowest I have ever been. And, any woman I have slept with since 2001 owes her a debt of gratitude too. learnt a lot.




(EDITED TO APPEASE PAGE BREAK FASCISTS)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 9:03, 8 replies)

did you copy and paste this from internetsexlies.com?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 9:10, closed)

I cam THIS > < Close
to adding a 'of course, there will be bitter twats who assume this is all lies because it contains sex'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 9:11, closed)

also, it needs more line breaks.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 9:13, closed)

That is a valid criticism

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 9:14, closed)

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 9:48, closed)

I got as far as you getting pissed on
Saw the line breaks and made my judgement.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Jul 2011, 9:38, closed)

Awesome.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 9:39, closed)

I like Scarpes stories.
*Pats Scarpe on head*

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 9:54, closed)

this actually had me in tears of laughter

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Jul 2011, 9:59, closed)

^What Windy Pig said^

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 10:41, closed)

Nice story
Well, it kept me entertained, and apart from some bits that I didn't want to see, I could almost see it in my minds eye!
(dchurch bah, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 9:55, closed)

Brilliant!

( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Fri 15 Jul 2011, 10:11, closed)

"a very successful theatrical actress"
Put a name to this, and sell it to the tabloids. They love a good FAMOUS PERSON HAS SEX headline.

The internet, however, decries you as a sweaty-handed virgin, regardless of the veracity of your tale.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 11:07, closed)

The internet also thinks
that Lady GaGa is a man, the moon landings were faked and that Osama Bin Laden is alive and well and living in Chepstow, so I'm not that concerned.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 11:20, closed)

Either you're a stooge for the NWO,
or you can't handle the truth!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 11:44, closed)

New World Order?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 11:49, closed)

Niggaz With Owls

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 11:54, closed)

Nonces with opportunity

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 12:19, closed)

It is spelled "Fascist", not "facist".

But thanks for the entertaining story.
(tyrellsOwl, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 13:08, closed)