London to Mongolia in a Fiat Punto
Mentioned this before, of course, but never has it been as relevant as now. We drove 7000 miles in four weeks. Highlights and other memorable events include:

Having a party at Klenova castle in the Czech Republic with 1000 other ralliers, involving battlements, statues, gypsy bands and a lot of free gin.

Getting lost in every city centre we drove into, including L'viv in Ukraine, getting helped out by two lovely English-speaking policemen and then, obviously, driving past them again two minutes later.

Getting into a convoy with two brilliant Dutch guys in a 2CV and two wanky South African guys in a Suzuki Swift, later expanding to include a Vauxhall Corsa, a Daewoo Matiz, and two Skoda Felicias, possibly the least technologically advanced convoy to cross Mongolia since Genghis Khan. But a great group.

Camping in a field in Russia in the middle of a lightning storm and somehow managing to avoid getting struck.

Visiting the quite stunning Volgograd.

Being chased down the road by angry Russians who didn't want us to sleep in their cafe car-park.

Having our salami eaten by wild dogs in the middle of Kazakhstan.

Hitting a rock on the way to Astana, cracking our sump, then getting it fixed between 12 and 2am by a guy who arrived in his dressing-gown, while the tow-truck drivers took us out to dinner. Total cost: £100.

Happening on huge quantities of wild cannabis plants which were not even close to being ready to smoke.

Having a hairy moment at the Russian border when the guard noticed a large quantity of white powder in a Tupperware container. Cue frantic tea-drinking motions and cow noises to indicate powdered milk.

Having all our spare tyres stolen off our roof the night after entering Mongolia.

Driving for six days over rutted dirt roads through some of the most stunning landscapes I've ever seen, and shaking our car to bits.

Laughing at the cheating bastards who'd taken a Land Rover as we passed their broken-down, smoking corpses on the edge of the Gobi Desert.

Breaking down ourselves in the middle of the Gobi Desert the next day.

Nursing the car through the desert over the next couple of days without being able to stop the engine or allow it to rev down below 1000, having lost about 90% of our power.

Passing a camel corpse being eaten by 30 or so vultures while doing this (some had flown off by the time I'd circled round and got the camera out)

Finally getting back onto the sweetest, most beautiful things you will ever see on this rally - tarmac roads.

Having the second, left-behind part of our convoy (including my co-driver) drive into the finish line party half way through, with a yak's head on the front of the 2CV, a flare stuck in the top of the skull, and everyone else hanging off the sides.

Being asked to sing on stage at the finish line in Ulaanbaatar, having the power cut halfway through and finishing our rendition of Tenacious D's Tribute anyway.

Dancing in a chicken suit in a Mongolian club after the finish-line party.

Best month of my life. I highly recommend it to anyone with little sense and a thirst for adventure.
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 18:29, 14 replies)

that sounds utterly epic
wish i could drive :(
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 19:15, closed)

"their broken-down, smoking corpses"
Who murdered the Land Rover drivers (and, choice of vehicle aside, was it really appropriate to laugh)?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 19:19, closed)

Chicken Suit pic....
Manliest Picture Ever?
(Odinsdottir wants to tell you about her cats, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 19:31, closed)

This is one of my ambitions
Also, you took a Fiat to Mongolia and back? You brave man!

Looks absolutely fantastic
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 19:40, closed)

didn't come back
We took it there and then it got sold for charity. Although we left it in Altai city looking like this, and got lifts with two other teams for the last 500 miles or so...
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 23:52, closed)

what year was that?
I did this in 2006
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 19:45, closed)

2009
you were the pioneers then!
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 20:14, closed)

It certainly was a lot more raw back then
far fewer regulations meant that most of the cars were 20 years old; mine was 24, and the convoy included a 1978 Skoda, a Mk II Granada Hearse and a Mini Moke.

I'd love to do it again, but there's no way I'm giving another penny of my hard-earned to Mr Tom.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 16 Jul 2011, 16:51, closed)

There's an alternative, and if I go again I'd be doing this instead:
www.charityrallies.org/
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 16 Jul 2011, 21:08, closed)

yeah
the regs were changed two months after I'd booked my place - it totally fucked up my plans to be honest. I was gutted. It also bumped our costs up considerably and made it harder to fix the car on the road. Still awesome fun though!
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Sun 17 Jul 2011, 14:57, closed)

I'm a 2007 veteran.
*salutes*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 22:13, closed)

nice
I think I heard about it first in 2006 or 7. Booked my place in summer of 2008, two months before passing my driving test... it's genuinely the reason I learnt to drive.
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 23:59, closed)

Missed the first one
But did 2005 (car died in Aktobe). Flew home saying " Ah well was a great try but cant afford to do it again" A month later bought another car, and managed to make it to UB in 2006! Would I do it again? In a breath!
(therealche, Sat 16 Jul 2011, 15:04, closed)

What car were you driving in 2006 then?
There's a high chance we met eachother in Prague.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 16 Jul 2011, 16:52, closed)

Citroen 2CV
The one with the icelolly.com branding ( how we blagged that sponsorship I will never know). Only stopped in Prague for a beer and carried on, why waste time in somewhere you can go any weekend when Russia, Kazakhstan and other wonderful places beckon. Think our first overnight stop was a layby in Latvia!
(therealche, Sat 16 Jul 2011, 20:15, closed)

I met up with everyone in Prague because I started in Warsaw
and with a two-stroke I wasn't allowed into Germany. Still, I saw some of the 2CVs, can't remember yours though
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 6:55, closed)