Customs don't work
It was on my return from a trip around South America, emptying my backpack in the kitchen table at my mothers' house, when the 5 inch pure Columbian bifta fell out. Result! Then I realised since Columbia, I'd also visited Panama, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, back to Cost Rica, the US, then England. I'd been through customs 6 times and taken 4 flights.

Despite being a bit dry, I wanted to smoke it in celebration of my freedom. My mother was well cross and confiscated it.
(bendyness shows you on the brick where he licked her, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 16:51, 9 replies)

I accidentally smuggled drugs to the US as well
I found a sheet of acid tabs in my laptop bag that I'd forgotten about. It had been to the states and back at least twice. Thank the gods that acid doesn't smell!

Quite how you escaped the sniffer dogs is a mystery...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 17:03, closed)

I hope you cunted her in the fuck
Then stood on her limp, lifeless body while blazing said schmokes.
(Blunt Logic, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 17:28, closed)

Excellent
You travelled to some of the worlds most dangerous countries and narrowly escaped prison time as an international MASSIVE DRUGS smuggler but were scuppered by your mum!
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 17:33, closed)

Ha!
Remember, kids: winners don't use drugs (they justs smuggle them around the world).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 20:24, closed)

5 inch pure Columbian bifta =

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 21:18, closed)

Candy sticks changing their name from candy cigarettes,
and losing their red tips, is a modern tragedy.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 21:34, closed)

It was taking the nicotine out that killed them.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 18 Jul 2011, 22:42, closed)

Kids, today, eh?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 8:43, closed)

I had one of these on my key ring for years
www.swisstechtools.com/productdetail.aspx?PID=VZ75GDTdP68A

It went through several x-rays and pocket inspections in several countries, without notice. I was so used to carrying it, and so used to not thinking of it as a weapon, that it never occurred to me that it might be a problem. It finally got stolen confiscated by an eagle-eyed jobsworth "security" official at YHZ last year. It has a blunt inch-long cutting edge on it, barely good enough to cut through parcel tape (which is what I used to use it for), but that was enough for our crusading hero of the Security Force; a knife is a knife is a knife, and thus it must be BANNED!

Still, if he was alert enough to spot the threat of Ragnarok posed by my little tool (fnarr, fnarr), hopefully he'd also be alert enough to spot anyone trying to smuggle MASSIVE DRUGS into the country.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 9:46, closed)