When I was 16 (53 now)
I moved away from my home in London to join a rock band in Bristol. There are numerous funny storys but one that springs to mind was when we played at a big festival. The headline band was Genesis and I was normally found at such events, backstage drinking beer with the crew. Some of the trailers, now empty of their equipment made ideal temporary bedrooms where the crew used to shag fans under the false promise of them getting to meet their idols.

I was chatting to one of the Genesis crew, cracking jokes, drinking beer and so on, when we both noticed a strange noise coming from one of the trailers. It was a sort of thumping sound in a steady beat combined with a sort of hissing sound which intermittently accompanied the thump. After a dozen or so of these, we heard a grunt, followed by, "fuckin' bastard, you ffff.....", followed by more of the thumps which had now gained speed, then slowed down again. There was a small silent break before,
Thump Thump Fssss Thump "CUNT" Thump "Bastaaaard" Thump Thump Fsss Thump "FUCKING Bbbbb....." Thump Thump fsss "OH FOR FUCKSAKE" Thump Thump and so on.

It was at this point we had to take a look to see what the hell was going on. We both climbed up the steps on the back of the trailer, switched on the light to find one of the more 'chunky', bearded roadies with his trousers round his ankles avec full hard on like a car jack, attempting to pump up an air bed with the wrong pump. Standing next to him was a girl, completely naked with a vodka bottle in one hand and a spliff in the other who feinted when she saw us.
We both looked at each other in surprise for a second, then we both sort of shrugged our shoulders and did a sort of 'meh' and buggered off for more beer.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 29 Jun 2006, 22:30, Reply)