Ooh, just remembered this one.
When I was eighteen I worked in my dad's pub. There was a chap who used to come in every Saturday afternoon and stay for about an hour, during which he'd consume three pints of bitter, two bags of cheese & onion crisps... and the packets that the crisps had come in.

After a few weeks we all recognised him; one Saturday I greeted him with a cheery "Good afternoon, how are you? Pint of bitter is it?"; he looked terrified and just about managed to mumble "Yes please" before paying and scurrying off to a distant table.

As an addendum to this story, a year or so later I was having driving lessons; it turned out that this chap was my driving instructor's lodger. He died while I was still having driving lessons; fell over in the bathroom, hit his head on the toilet and was found a week later by my instructor who was (predictably) pretty traumatised by the whole thing
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 2 Oct 2012, 11:19, 3 replies)

I remember when I'd been drinking in my local for a few weeks.
I was working pretty much daily in a bookies (I'd recently graduated and not got a 'proper' job yet). And going there most nights for a couple of after work pints.

I come back from a cig one day to find the barmaid stood with a fresh poured pint in hand, and her hand out ready to receive my change.

"How did you know I wanted a pint?"
"Because you've left a mouthful of drink and fucked off for a cig. I thought I'd save you the bother of supping the last mouthful while I pour the next. £2.50"
"Errr... ta."
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 2 Oct 2012, 12:08, closed)

"Saving people the bother"
That's a brilliant idea!

"We've saved you the bother of kicking that football around the field by putting it straight in the bin. Want to buy another one?"

"We've saved you the bother of chewing that steak by bringing you a plate of gravy. Are you ready for the plate your dessert should have been on?"

etc
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 2 Oct 2012, 13:37, closed)

I'm intrigued
by your driving instructor not needing to go to the toilet for a week. Nappies?
(ubergeekian, Tue 2 Oct 2012, 22:03, closed)

The lodger's room had an en-suite
I didn't explain that very well... :)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:47, closed)