Haverhill
A town so shit that Cambridgeshire and Essex ganged up and forced Suffolk to take it in (from the looks of the county boundaries at least).

Now I've had it reasonably easy living in a village just outside of Norwich for most of my formative years and even the three years at university spent dodging the student-hating denizens of the slums of South Leamington Spa was (just) bearable.

Haverhill, for every day of the six years I lived there, made me want to poke my eyes out with a rotten squirrel. This town, who claims to fame include having a roundabout with a laser (believe me, this sounds infinitely better than it actually is) and being the largest town in Europe not to have a train station, is made up of three council estates, two industrial estates and a high street. The most prevalent types of shop are charity shops, car parts shops (for pimping your ride) and betting agents which speaks volumes for the locals.

Ah yes, the locals. The locals fall into two categories: those who work in Cambridge and the fat ugly moaning knuckle-dragging fuckwitted chav dole-scum locals whose only purpose in life is to get completely shit-faced,get into fights and make fat ugly moaning knuckle-dragging fuckwitted chav dole-scum sprogs.

Last but not least is the smell. On the industrial estate if International Flavour and Fragrances, a massive chemical factory that will make the town stink of toilet cleaner most of the time. Mind you sometimes it smells tutti frutti sweets which sparks a craving for pick 'n' mix and leaves you with a sad and empty feeling for the loss of the Woolworths.

Even the ugly moaning knuckle-dragging fuckwitted chav dole-scum locals (well, the rare ones who can string a sentence of more than two syllables together) agree that the place is a shithole and should be bulldozed at the earliest possible opportunity.

It was a very good day when I moved to Attleborough. Yay for Norfolk!
(Angio can smell your fear just by looking at you., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 12:46, 7 replies)

oooh, big click
I live in a civilised village outside of Haverhill currently, and can confirm that Haverhole has not improved whatsoever. I too came from the Norwich area prior to lioving here and ThingMeBobs, the Smock and Drabbet Wetherspoons and that awful bloody hairspray/glue smell from IFF were quite a shock on the senses, I can tell you. I've never been out at ngiht in Haverhill. I don't think my eyeballs could take it.
(woodkat loves comic sans, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:28, closed)

It must be bad
if Attleborough's an improvement!
(The Jannie, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:56, closed)

that place
has no soul

Loads of people where I work moved there about 8-10 years ago because of the cheap housing, they all moved out within 4 years, and the road to cambridge is a total deathtrap
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:01, closed)

Death trap indeed
How the hell did I forget to mention the A1307? Almost every week without fail some twat in a pimped out saxo/fiesta/nova (delete as applicable) wiped out a family and usually themselves with some really stupid overtaking manoeuvres.

And you hit the nail on the head with the place having no soul. It has to be experienced to be believed.
(Angio can smell your fear just by looking at you., Wed 4 Nov 2009, 9:46, closed)

HMP
3 words: Haverhill Meat Products - I spent 2 weeks there in 1990 (I don't know if it still exists). It was 2 of the worst weeks in my life. I was working alongside a vegan at the time and neither of us had much choice in the matter. Those working in the plant all seemed to be ex cons (with BIG knives), an extremely scary place.

That said, I do believe that Figleaves lingerie fulfils its orders from Haverhill so it cant be all that bad?
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:01, closed)

I live nearby..
...and would love a house with a garden, over the flat I currently reside in, but not even cheap houses will make me move into Haverhill!
I drive on the A1307 every day and it's not the road that's dangerous (OK a couple of dodgy junctions but that's not where the crashes have been) it's just the attitude of some of the drivers that dangerous. You could probably stock a small florists with the number of tributes at the side of the road now. I have a heavy right foot but I just don't understand how so many people crash on such a simple road!
(cmouse is pondering about life in other jobs, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 11:30, closed)

I lived there
2000-2004
So I guess I missed the roundabout with lasers.
I can agree with everything you've said-I made two friends in four years because the knuckle dragging types wont talk to you if they didn't go to school with you/your cousin/brother/sister-sometimes all in the same person.
Speaking of the smell it was a happy day when acorn pet foods packed up and fucked off,I'm not too sure who for most-the company or the residents. What a hole, with a capital Haver
(Soy milk supernova has nothing witty to add on, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 17:29, closed)