Was let go, as contract workers can be with very little reason, because I do not control space, time and the universe.
I used to be an engineer at Aston Martin. My sole responsibility was to fix issues on the production line which stopped a car passing with a clean bill of health first time through. Anything that cropped up in electrical/powertrain needed to be investigated, contained and prevented from reoccurrence.

Bar charts/stats/analysis showed us what the biggest issues were and one by one we knocked over the problems until there were the 'last big two issues' left.

One was the navigation system not achieving GPS lock in the cycle time of the end-of-line production sequence when the car is hooked up to the factory mainframe for configuration/module programming/electronic test sequences. The other issue was the anti-theft tracking device not commissioning in the same time frame (the module used the GSM network to send an SMS to the tracking company and expected a reply within 45 seconds).

As these were persistent failures that required retests there was a lot of pressure from management to sort these remaining big issues which made an uncomfortably large spike on the weekly report of failures.

After about three weeks of 'Why is this still happening?' in the team meetings I snapped a little bit and said to a room full of management-

"Look. The Nav system isn't getting GPS lock because we're inside a big metal-roofed factory and the repeater for GPS is giving an offset location- and I can't really control what GPS satellites are in the constellation that are visible to the antenna at any time of day. Secondly, the tracker unit is expecting a response to it's SMS that it sends over the GSM network- I have no way of influencing the traffic on the GSM network to make it happen in a specific time frame. I have no control over these issues so how do you expect me to fix the problem?"

Oops. Accidentally pointed out to everyone that I was surplus to requirement.

Goodbye Aston Martin.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 2 Jun 2014, 18:15, 20 replies)

Should've sucked your teeth a bit,
then launch into a load of bullshit starting "well, the thing is..."
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 18:20, closed)

never happened

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 19:01, closed)

Shush, twat. You weren't there.
Your opinion is based on what 'You reckon'. You're not the omniscient overlord of me.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 2 Jun 2014, 22:20, closed)

yeah ... but it never happened

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 22:30, closed)

as you weren't there when it happened
your suggestion is neither here, nor there.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 2 Jun 2014, 23:06, closed)

I wasn't there when you leapfrogged a double decker bus
you don't need to be present to recognise that a story is obvious twaddle
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 7:41, closed)

He definitely didn't leapfrog a double decker bus or I'm sure he'd have mentioned it by now
But he was definitely working at Aston Martin when I met him and he used to come home talking about the problems of sorting out the sat nav on the pre production models, so the balance of probability, given that he is pretty bloody clever, is that it did happen as he said. He's currently being very clever with hybrid batteries at another big vehicle development company.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 3 Jun 2014, 18:49, closed)

I don't doubt any of that ... but he certainly wasn't sacked or made redundant for pointing out a couple of rudimentary holes in their testing procedures.
Or for leaping over a bus.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 10:34, closed)

Contract engineer admits the only things left to solve are unsolvable.
It's fairly straightforward. I wasn't supposed to just point out problems, I was supposed to fix them. Especially at the beginning of the recession, would be unwise to keep spare people in doing nothing on contractor wages. Plus the Quality manager came from Toyota and wasn't used to hearing negative language. *EDIT "Improvements of xx% in production allowing 33% reduction in size of workforce" is in his web CV
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Wed 4 Jun 2014, 12:57, closed)

I can help with control of space, time, and the universe (Oxford comma)
sweetie

or could if my TARDIS was fixed

(pout, heave of small - but firm - bososmsm)

X
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 20:23, closed)

Should have painted an arrow on it and
"You are here"
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 3 Jun 2014, 9:01, closed)

I knew one twat that binned an entire box of radiosondes for a similar reason.
Despite having been doubled up for twice the amount of shifts standard to a noob, and despite supposedly following an instruction manual that was pretty-much idiot proof, on his first solo night shift he found that he couldn't get a GPS signal on ANY of the radiosondes he tried.
Because he missed out one of the following steps EVERY single time:
After calibration, disconnect the radiosonde from the ground check chamber.
Attach the battery unit to the radiosonde.
Take the radiosonde outside place it in the holder attached to the PortaKabin railings and leave it for five minutes to acquire a signal.

Yeah. EVERY fucking time he went out with no battery pack connected.

But obviously the manual was to blame because it wasn't clear enough.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 3 Jun 2014, 22:41, closed)

Antarctic survey, perchance?
Or are you the resident Falklands b3tan? I recall PMing one of the b3ta community who was out counting penguins or what not....EDIt Ah yes, sorry it is you. Profile QOTW answers gave away the game.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 3 Jun 2014, 22:48, closed)

Yeah, I was the penguin fucker.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 3 Jun 2014, 23:48, closed)

The manual was to blame
You do what's in the manual. If you go outside what's in the manual and it fucks up - your fault. If you do what the manual says and it fucks up - the manual writer's fault. See the reports of air disasters where the manual was either wrong and the instructions caused the crash or the the operator went outside the manual instructions and caused the crash.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 11:08, closed)

There was no crash.
Because there was no launch.
The manual stated pretty fucking clearly ATTACH THE BATTERY TO THE RADIOSONDE. Then take it outside to pick up a signal.
No battery attached means NO POWER which means that the radiosonde is NEVER going to pick up a signal.
I put in about the manual being to blame because that was the spastic's excuse. Which our fuckwitted boss concurred with, with the words "Well it's not really clear to me". Despite it being a fucking STEP BY STEP GUIDE WITH PHOTOS.
Wait a minute. It's YOU isn't it. Hello Simon. You useless cat butchering spastic.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 4 Jun 2014, 16:34, closed)

RWH really did work at Aston Martin
When we met he was working there and had the massive privilege of being allowed to drive the things! Saw it with my own two eyes. Nice guy too.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 10:21, closed)

How do you know if someone worked at Astons?
Oh, they'll tell you. Repeatedly.
(inflateable, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 18:14, closed)

*Checks*. Yes, fair comment.
I also mention quite a lot that I come from Stourbridge and have a daughter. That's because that's what happened a lot in my life.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Wed 4 Jun 2014, 19:05, closed)

You're a surfer from the South West who has used CNC equipment and has been to Trago.
Me too except the bit about surfing. Things in life that you want to talk about crop up regularly.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Wed 4 Jun 2014, 22:51, closed)