Don't have kids
I've not had time to read any posts yet, so don't know if anyone's else mentioned it yet, but if you really want to save money, don't have kids.

They cost a fortune for at least two decades of your life.

I don't expect any financial return until it's time to put me in a home, but I'm already planning how to decorate my granny flat.

Just ignore me.

As usual.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 12:05, 6 replies)

Not really true.
Before I had kids I was pissing everything I earned up the wall nightclubbing till 3am and buying stipid shit like DVD players.

Now I am pissing everything I earn up the wall on the kids, and replacing DVD players that have had biscuits shoved into the loading tray. Still end up awake at 3am.

Fuck, what have I done?
(username failed moderation, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 12:13, closed)

failed to teach your kids not to shove biscuits into your dvd player.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 14:02, closed)

Acquire a wife/girlfriend that enjoys swallowing
It's a win-win I think.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 14 Nov 2011, 12:21, closed)

But she'll eat you out of house and home.
Far better to get an anorexic, and see the huge savings on the food bills.

Or, have I misunderstood?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 12:43, closed)

Yes, yes you have.
Edit: although having said that, the more craps she eats, the fatter she'll get, and the less likely you'll want to shag her, therefore reducing your chances of procreating.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 14 Nov 2011, 13:01, closed)

I quite like fat chicks.
Yeah, form a queue, ladies...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 13:54, closed)