Gene the Nuderous Guy
One day I ran into my new downstairs neighbor in the parking lot. His name was Gene, he was in his mid 50's, bigger guy, recently divorced, hence his new digs. We talked about fishing, and he seemed to be quite a normal guy, despite his high squeeky voice.

A day or two later he called me to see if I wanted to go to a furniture auction. I declined, as I actually had a chair and two "flip and *cough* folds" to get rid of. I told him he was welcome to take a look if he was interested. He said "Sure. Unless you're naked." WTF? "Uhhh, no," was all I could manage. "Oh, well I run around naked all the time. Who's gonna care?" Good point, I guess.

He came up (clothed) with that leering look pervs have in the presence of their favorite prey. You know the look. He didn't want the furniture, and kept suggesting that we go fishing on his boat. He started calling me "Lucky" and kept talking about "The Big Eddy" at the river. I wasn't sure I wanted to know anything about his Big Eddy. {Aside: the part of "Twister" where the telephone pole falls on the truck and the little balls roll all over the place was filmed at The Big Eddy.}

We went fishing a few times (never in his boat, I didn't want to be trapped with no escape route), and a couple times we were in the presence of smoothed-faced young boys who were not related to Gene and had no real reason for knowing him. Soon, whenever I would make any kind of noise in the apartment, Gene would call up. "Heard a noise. You got a woman up there, Lucky?" Drop a book, the phone rings. Wind blows the door closed, the phone rings. My mom dubbed him "The Nuderous Guy." I began making all sorts of excuses to not go fishing, and was quite relieved when he moved in with his 80 year old parents.

He never did try anything with me, and maybe I should have distanced myself from the first, but then I wouldn't have this story!
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 25 Aug 2005, 15:56, Reply)