At No. 2
My neighbours are an Italian couple in their 60’s.
The old lady often hoses the paths and driveway – but only if it is raining at the time. The goal seems to be getting rid of the rainwater with tap water.
The old man waits until the old lady goes out and then he locks up the house from the inside and closes all the drapes. Without fail, you will then hear the theme tune of “Xena Warrior Princess” start up on the TV / video. I’m guessing this show is his version of home porn.
They hate any trees that are not palm trees. The only two near his property were a Norfolk Island pine in my front yard that strangely developed drill holes and died of poisoning shortly after I refused his demand to chop it down, and the other one was on the corner of an adjoining park which “just caught fire”. It then fell blocking a sugar cane train line.
A police officer friend reckons the old man is a pedophile because of the strange way he hides in the bushes in his front garden having a smoke and watching pedestrians go by. The old man tells me it's because his wife doesn't like to see him smoking.

Another neighbour was having a new roof installed and without saying a word the old man climbed the ladder and sat on the neighbours’ roof (2 stories high) just watching my neighbour go about his work.

The old lady made a complaint to council that my boxer dog was shitting in my backyard. Not even near her boundary – just in my backyard. I have since trained him to shit near her fence.

Their grown up daughter, God bless her, is as nutty as mum and dad but in fairness she does have a brain impairment stemming from an illness as a child. To boost her self esteem, they revel in telling her she is fat, stupid and unwanted. More recently they moved her into an investment unit they own and made sure the phone can only dial 000 (same as 999 / 911). So if she gets lonely or scared she can only call up the long suffering police or paramedics.
I do get away from their shenanigans when I’m on night shift. As a paramedic. Who is routinely responded to their daughter. I take great delight in waking the old couple up at 4am to inform them that their daughter needs them. It is usually about this time that their English comprehension magically falters.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Fri 26 Aug 2005, 3:17, Reply)