Scary NeighboursMy immediate neighbours are lovely. But the next house down from that? Crimminy biscuits - he's a 70 year old taxi driver who loves to tell me at length about the people he's put in hospital and how Soho is "run by Maltese ponces." How scary are your neighbours?
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chthonic, Thu 25 Aug 2005, 13:20)
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Old Man In Homemade Vacuum Bag Having a WankIn the next village up from us (Spondon if any of you are from Derby) lived an elderly couple, every Wednesday night the lady of the house would go into town to play Bingo with the girls.
One of these nights she returned home to find a noise coming from their garage/games room. It was the sound of the hoover sucking away.
She thought the old man was just having a late night clear out, but when she tried to go into the garage, she found all the doors locked, and the windows covered up. She shouted the man's name but there was no answer. The sound of the hoover was obviously blocking out her weak old lady voice, so she switched it off at the plug inside their house. Still no reply when she shouted. Her next door neighbour was called and after another 5 minutes of shouting the neighbour kicked down the side door.......
They found the old man INSIDE an inflatable beach lilo, with the vacuum attached, sucking all the air out. The man died of suffocation, and later forensic tests revealed traces of semen inside the lilo and inside the hoover!
This story is completely true, I work as a special police officer and I crack up laughing everytime i hear my collegues mentioning it.
No apologies for bla bla bla
(, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:56, Reply)
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