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This is a question Scary Neighbours

My immediate neighbours are lovely. But the next house down from that? Crimminy biscuits - he's a 70 year old taxi driver who loves to tell me at length about the people he's put in hospital and how Soho is "run by Maltese ponces." How scary are your neighbours?

(, Thu 25 Aug 2005, 13:20)
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Ah Bob!

He lived in the same corridor as me in the first year of uni. A nice guy who just had some very odd habits...and occasionally went a bit psychotic. Perhaps it was the dogfood he ate. Perhaps it was the pints of cheap bitter or the lighter fluid he liberally imbibed. Who can say?

He had a really piercing alarm clock that went off at 7am every morning for ages. Basically a powerful NUUUUUUUUURRRRRRR that most of the block could hear. The kind of sound that cut through your duvet and woke you up, particularly annoying if you were a dossy arts student that never went in for lectures (that would be me).

He was usually comatose from his various drink / drug combinations the night before and was the only one in the block who was never woken by the noise. Groups of angry students knocking at his door trying to wake him up never seemed to rouse him either.

One night I came in late and I noticed his door was open and he was nowhere to be seen. I decided to grab this opportunity for a good nights sleep and I nabbed his alarm clock and retired to my own room.

Around 4 in the morning I am woken by a loud slow knocking at my door.

I open it to find Bob, dressed in black, hair exploding at all angles, with an icy mad gleam in his eye. He is also clasping a sizeable carving knife.


He is gently quivering, and obviously off his head, so with a frozen smile on my face I pass him his clock and close and lock my door.

After pondering my experience for a little while I fall asleep.

To be woken at about 7am by a loud NUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRR.
(, Tue 30 Aug 2005, 11:31, closed)

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