oh and...
... not my neighbours, but tenants of mine in my old job. so someone's neighbours, for the purists on here.

highlights being:

the trio of brothers who shat on the floor and wiped their arses on the curtains

the drug addicts who solved the mess on the floor by hoisting the bed from the ceiling on a rope

the couple who had abusive sex veeeery noisily over my head when i was doing an inventory of the flat below and then asked me in for coffee when they met me in the car park

the old guy who watched porn so loudly and for so long that all his neighbours complained

the mousy quiet little girl who was found to have rubber dresses, spray on pants and several tubes of KY in her flat

the guy who died and decomposed for a week before we found him

the guy who burned himself to death falling asleep drunk on the sofa with a cigarette in his hand

[the two above were in stoke, so what do you expect? don't get me started on the scouse tenants...]

and finally - utterly irrelevant but included for sheer jaw dropping hideousness:

the landlord who, when told his tenants were moving out, clapped his hand to his head and said: "they can't possibly. i've just bought a bloody new headboard for that house."

and who also told me to write to flat 1 of a communal block and tell her to stop blocking the drains with rice. his reasoning for choosing flat 1? she was chinese.

FFS. how could i write to her and say: you are chinese therefore you eat more rice than anyone else? my suggestion that it was more likely to be the curry takeaways from the five single lads in the same block was ignored... ignorant twat!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 31 Aug 2005, 11:29, Reply)