French Pikeys
This summer I went to stay with some friends at my mate's parent's house in southern France, beautiful little village in the sticks right on the River Orb, anyway the main road through it is slightly uphill and I was standing with 3 friends as the little pikeys who all dress like Cristiano Ronaldo were going up and down the road on their mopeds.

So to set the scene we were standing downhill on a corner and I'd decided to walk uphill to the newsagent to buy some fags, and as i'm walking up one of the pikeys decides to come and be a badman and ride alongside me and stare me out, because French hillbilly's don't like the Anglais. Anyway as i'm walking he's riding along he's got his head turned all the way staring at me and I see he's about to crash into a parked car at 4mph.
So I maintain eye-contact as he crashes head-on into the parked car and flys off backwards and does a backwards rolly-polly. At which point the owner of the car who was in the newsagent comes running out, angrily jabbering in French and starts slapping him round the head, while i'm rolling around laughing as are my mates down the road having witnessed the whole thing.
Later that week we bumped into him (who we affectionately named Jean-Claude) with two mates, he tried to prove he was a big man by blocking the path with himself.

As we told him in English he should fuck off pulled out a rusty pen-knife with a white-flag attached and told us to "sook his duck", we laughed and carried on walking. We figured we'd let him think he'd banished us from his town.

Excuse for the length it was around 2 inches covered in rust
(Bludfoot rushing out since, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 3:04, 2 replies)

Good work fella

(schrodingers cat now you see me, or not, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 3:36, closed)

Clicks for sook his duck
and the white flag reference
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:10, closed)