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This is a question School Assemblies

Our school assemblies were often presided over by the local vicar, who once warned us of the dreadful dangers of mixing with "Rods and Mockers". One of the cool teachers laughed. Tell us about mad headteachers and assemblies gone wrong.

Inspired by the mighty @Rhodri on Twitter

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 12:43)
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The shart to end all sharts
A few fart/shart related tales on here already, but I assure you that none are as embarrassing as this one.

I must have been about 10 years old and my class had been doing a project about volcanoes. I was stood on the small stage alongside a few of my classmates including a lad caleld Jeremy, ready to talk about the rather impressive paper mache volcano the class had constructed. Totally out of the blue, without warning, and with comical timing that most professionals could only dream of, Jeremy's arse decided to erupt like Vesuvius. My recollection of the noise is a squirting sound which was part fart, part gush. The bum gravy shot down Jeremy's legs and started to seep out of the bottom of his trousers onto his shoes. His face contorted into an expression of horror and embarrassment, whilst the rest of the school hall went through shock, horror, disgust, and uncontrolable laughter in a very short space of time. Jeremy was ushered off the stage (crying) by one of the few teachers who managed to keep a straight face, and from that moment on was known as Shitty McSquitty.
(, Fri 14 Jun 2013, 5:49, Reply)

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