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This is a question School Assemblies

Our school assemblies were often presided over by the local vicar, who once warned us of the dreadful dangers of mixing with "Rods and Mockers". One of the cool teachers laughed. Tell us about mad headteachers and assemblies gone wrong.

Inspired by the mighty @Rhodri on Twitter

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 12:43)
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School assemblies.. Boring as shit. Highlights include crap hymns, drug awareness talks and general drudgery. They decided in years 10 and 11 that we didn't need to have assemblies because no one took them seriously, and also the hall was too small for the whole school. Three memorable things happened..
1 - our class room was the science room, with gas taps on the tables. A couple of the bigger lads held the class clown close to the gas tap and made him breath half of the north sea, before assembly. He then went to assembly a bit light headed, and then passed out mid way through, and spewing repeatedly upon waking up.. He was fine after, and didn't go home- and he didn't grass anyone up for it.. I think he couldn't remember what happened, so no one had any trouble. Except the cleaner.
2 - we had to watch a shit video, and my mate had just got one of those IR remote watches you could control a telly or video with. Great fun watching the teacher panic as the video spacked out over and over again. Until the teacher spotted the huge watch and the shit eating grin on his face.. So then she made us watch the video after removing his watch and later writing a letter to his folks.
3. Police drug talk day - when the police came to school to tell us what we already knew, and was surprised at our wealth of knowledge on the subject, and became quite cross when the sample jars of cannabis went missing. So we then had to stay in the hall till the samples were returned before we could leave. we couldn't get the bloody jars open so had to give them back. Not sure who learnt the biggest lesson that day, pupils, or dope distributing police twat.
(, Tue 18 Jun 2013, 16:07, 4 replies)
When I got to 6th form,
our form room was the Lecture Theatre, which had a TV, in one of those lockable cabinets. The lock was easily jimmied with a ruler (Shatterproof, of course), so we would spend our lunch breaks watching Going For Gold, and Neighbours, always missing the end of the latter, due to our long-suffering form tutor coming in and switching off the set (he'd quickly realised the futility of trying to stop us using it).
(, Tue 18 Jun 2013, 16:25, closed)
In fifth form we used to borrow the German teacher's TV and watch videos.
The German teacher though we would learn from German TV he'd recorded and we did watch some -- Neun Und Ein Halb Wochen was our favourite though the only German we learned was "Mein gott! Ja! Ja! Oh Gott!".
(, Tue 18 Jun 2013, 19:04, closed)
"Ich komme" was the only German I had learnt, after a year of study,
and even that's probably wrong.
(, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:11, closed)
I think that may have been in the film also.
I don't really remember much German but it stuck in my head well enough to make trying to learn Norwegian tough.
(, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 16:16, closed)

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