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This is a question School Days

"The best years of our lives," somebody lied. Tell us the funniest thing that ever happened at school.

(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:19)
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I have the pleasure
Of currently attending a school for teenagers with mental health issues (I'm 17, but what with me being an in-patient at the unit in question I am lumped in with the rest). You think your school was funny?

We have the small squeaky little twat* from hell, who squeals with delight at anything to do with fairies, Disney or kittens (OK fair enough I too let out a little bit of wee at kitties) and howls like a banshee whenever things don't go her way. Probably weighs all of about six stone soaking wet, roughly five foot tall and has picked a fight with me on no less than five occasions - I am 6'8". Has also punched me in the face. Hilarity level: 8/10.

The token mentalist is a sixteen-year old black girl who is indescribably rude and generally horrid to all and sundry. Regularly pushes people aside, either talks to people like shit or totally blanks them and jumps queues (personal pet hate - as in, really can't stand it). She hit me around the head with a chair once for no reason whatsoever, and then screamed at me for having no manners and being in her way. Hilarity level: 7/10.

But the icing on the cake shall be known simply as Sleepy. He's a genuinely lovely lad, wonderfully funny and pretty wicked at footy. Due to his medication, he likes to sleep a lot and moves at a relative snail's pace. Regularly lies down on the floor in lessons and drifts off. Has brilliant ways of winding the people who are dickheads* up, such as following them round flicking the back of their head, throwing wet paper towels at them and once poured a whole (plastic, no less) bottle of milk over squeaky twat's head, causing her to release a staccato series of shrieks that has left me with permanent hearing damage. Hilarity? Off the scale.

Apologies for lack of real funny. I don't really feel comfortable going into full-on examples at the moment, lest somebody stab me to death with a pair of round-ended scissors.

Length? Three months and counting, one of them under duress.

*Anyone who is about to badger me with "It isn't their fault, they have problems" - Get fucked. They'd be cunts without any issues. Shut up. I'm nuts. I'll kill you.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 20:33, 7 replies)
*Anyone who is about to badger me with "It isn't their fault, they have problems" - Get fucked
Right on, brother.


Give the oxygen thieves a slap for me, they deserve nothing less than a spell in the Army, preferably in the Glasshouse.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 21:47, closed)
Perhaps this isn't fair to point out, but ...
... 17 is still a teenager.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 22:10, closed)
I mean
With regard to attending school. It would be abnormal for me to stll be at school at 17, no? Unless you're being pedantic, and classing sixth form as school. It's mixed-age classes though, so that's that one nipped in the bud.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 22:14, closed)
For a 17 year old
you write well. You don't come across as all that mental either, for what it's worth on a virtually anonymous internet forum.
(, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:29, closed)

The image of someone five foot tall punching someone your height in the face is worth the click!

(, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 11:50, closed)
I don't know
You don't sound nuts to me.. your stories were quite good I say!
(, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 13:12, closed)
Have a click
for being a near 7 foot mentalist :o)
(, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 14:45, closed)

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