Evil Hags called Dinner Ladies!
Going all the way back to the early seventies: at my infant school we had a real dragon of a dinner lady. Her name shall remain stricken from the record to prevent her restless spirit haunting me.
Anyway, I have always been averse to one particular vegetable as they quite literally make me physically sick: yes sprouts I'm talking about you. Satan's bumboils they are!
When I started at school, my mumsy sent a note written in her finest handwriting to our headmistress asking that they not feed me on these fetid mini cabbages. She duly signed this and gave it back to me to keep, and present to the dinner staff when we had sprouts.
So one day, I'm at the serving hatch, and lo and behold sprouts are the day's veg. Myself being a well brought up nipper explains that I have a note excusing me from eating them: suddenly all hell breaks loose!
"YOU WILL PUT SPROUTS ON HIS PLATE, AND I WILL STAND OVER HIM AND MAKE SURE HE EATS THEM!": or words to that effect anyway.
Yes, the evil hag had seen what had been going on, and stuck her big bulldog face in where it wasn't needed.
No amount of pleading or displaying of the note worked.
I was forced to eat sprouts: less than a minute after the first one hit my little tum, rich, sprouty vomit sprayed from my mouth all over the table, and all over the Dinner Lady from Hell.
My projectile eructation then induced a wave of puke from virtually everybody else at my table.
Needless to say, the hag had to clean it all up, along with eight puke encrusted kids.
She also had to explain to the head why she had chosen to ignore my pleas about my note: my mother told me years later that she had said that she thought I had written it myself.
I was four!
Fuckin' hate them little green twats!
(The Yongy Bongy Bo brought to you in glorious monochrome, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:38, 2 replies)

likey
clicky for the wonderful adjectives
(Don't tell him Pike i'll probably just stay in, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 18:18, closed)

And the nouns ...
don't forget the nouns!

Eructation indeed. Whoever heard such highfalutinations?
( Ghoti Fingers, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 18:56, closed)