Not me, but everyone thought it was...
Way back in the mists of time, a new maths teacher started at my school - Mr Gilbert. Over time we found he was a really nice bloke, but he'd obviously decided to make sure he was the boss, for in his first term he was a terror. Everyone behaved in Mr Gilbert's lessons.

One day, the class was quiet, everyone puzzling over a fiendish maths test Mr Gilbert had set. Suddenly, the peace was shattered by one of the best farts I've ever heard. It was short, sharp, deep, authoritative... and LOUD*. The sort of fart that would usually have me and my mates rolling around on the floor in fits of laughter, with one of us also clutching at an agonised ringpiece.

Today though, it was as if I was the only person who'd heard it. No-one even raised an eyebrow, let alone whimpered in pain or suppressed mirth.

"Who was that?!" I asked, the ghost of a smile playing over my lips. Again, no-one paid any heed. Mr Gilbert looked up. "Kerry, was that you?" he asked.
"No!" I replied indignantly. Mr Gilbert wasn't convinced.
"I think it was. If it happens again, you're out of the room"
"It wasn't me!"

At this point my friend Tony looked up. "It could have been me, I'm not sure" he told Mr Gilbert. This was the straw that broke my back - there was no way you could have let one off like that and not realised. I guffawed, repeating "It could have been him, hahaha".

Mr Gilbert glared at me and we all resumed our maths, my cheeks now burning with the shame of my unfair accusation.

Finally, the bell rang signalling the end of the lesson. As we all filed out Tony turned round and grinned over his shoulder "It was me!".

Bastard.


*I've since coined a term for these farts - Asso Profundo

/length (less than a second, but you couldn't miss it)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 14:09, 5 replies)

Oddly, in my mental picture of this
You still have the beard
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 15:54, closed)

Hahaha, in my dreams!
I tried growing a beard around that time - the resultant fluff was like Adrian Mole's description of his attempt at a beard, only less impressive :D
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:06, closed)

serious clickage just for the terminology at the end.
:D
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 22:09, closed)

Yup
Clicky for Asso Profundo
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 18:10, closed)

I don't understand
How they didn't laugh as well haha. Did you go to school with the Stepford Children? This gets a click anyway for reminding me if a similar incident at my school.
(Ovon Bort Wondering why he chose this username, since 1999, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 7:23, closed)