U-bends aint for crawling....
It's 2004 and the bods at our Comprehensive decide to treat the Year 11's studying History to an educational trip to Warkworth Castle. Great.

We were given clipboards so we could take notes on the castle but the idea that these were going to be used for anything other than tomfoolery went out the window when we spied the massive fucking moat that surrounded the castle. Cue around 25 lads flying down the side of the moat standing on clipboards. The ones who made it to the bottom were worshipped, the ones who didn't were knee capped by the next oncoming batch of hyperactive 16 year olds that fancied themselves as an all weather Shaun Palmer.

The highlight of the day came when my history teacher decided that he'd crawl into the gap underneath one of the toilets in the castles to show how spacious it was. Apparently he did this with every year group to sarcastic gasps of amazement but this year he must've been hitting the Ale a bit too hard as he got stuck in the primitive u-bend.

First he laughed....

Then we laughed....

Then he paniced....

Then we laughed somemore....

Then he pleaded with us to get a guide....

Then we laughed somemore....

Then he finally managed to wriggle out of his own accord. The rest of the trip was spent with a mildly embarrased History teacher trying to accost us for not helping him out.

He soon shut up on the coach home when word got round the other groups that he'd got stuck in a toilet trying to show off and impress a bunch of 16 year olds.

EDIT: I'm forgetting alot about this trip.

One lad went into a field close to the castle to go cow tipping but slipped in a pile of cow shite and got it all over his mid 90's-esque popper tracksuit bottoms. He had to go and get cleaned up and sit in the coach for the rest of the afternoon as punishment.

A mates ex was none to pleased about the flirtatious manner he was acting with his new prospective lass and decided to write a letter to her friend about the coach trip back where she slagged off nearly everyone on the coach. Her friend sold her out and copies of the letter were around the school in no time. I was plesantly suprised that all she said about me was 'needs a haircut'.
(Peter Sutcliffe's Right Bollock, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 16:24, Reply)