School trip highlights:
- a kid being tripped in the foyer of the edinburgh museum and breaking loads of teeth on the marble floor, blood everywhere. Nice.

- Someone spraying silly string down a hole in the coach floor, smoke coming out the hole and the driver shouting "Everyone get off the bus!". Just after we did it burst into flames making a simpsons style whooomf! noise.

- Being on a biology field trip, getting a bit too cained whilst lazing around a pond in the sun. We had to present our "findings" to our class and one from another school that had just turned up... coincedentaly my mum was their biology teacher. My mate who I'd been "working" with was so trashed that all he could do was sit at the front of the class going white whith his head in his hands while I stuttered the results.

- Scuffing my foot on a bit of concrete on a french beach and removing my toenail in the process. It was a fun watersports holiday from that moment on.

- Being made to eat a raw egg (with shell) by an instructor under the guise of it "earning my team points". Rubbish, he just wanted to see my face while I tried to swallow a whole egg.

- A coach load of kids noticing that numerous french male commuters were wanking whilst stuck in Paris rush hour traffic. Only to be told by an effeminate male teacher that french people were "more passionate than us brits, and more in touch with their feelings" while he tried to cop an eyefull.

- My mates and I going to a university open day and being watched like a hawk by a teacher at the head master's request (he was convinced we were going to go shopping in town). She didn't catch us smoking joints, and didn't notice that all the lower 6th girls had gone missing (she was too busy keeping an eye on us). When all the lower 6th girls got on the coach at the end of the day laden with top shop, monsoon, river island, gap and next bags it made me smile.

- Being stuck on a ferry with little ballast on a stormy day in the english channel. It was a pukefest. People were saving bags they had been sick in to use again, the toilets were one big sicky slidey mess, the decks were awash with multicoloured waves, the whole place smelt like a campari brewery. Someone tried to be sick over the side, but it blew back on board, a girl in it's path noticed what was happening a bit too late and screamed. A mouthful of someone elses puke goes down a treat apparently.

[cock joke here]
(ralphseviltwin, Fri 8 Dec 2006, 13:23, Reply)