I think the length is worth a read.
I was never in the scouts but most of my friends were and it was for this reason that i went on a big week long school scout trip with said friends. This was a big thing with big marquee tents, one for the eight or so boys and one for the five or so girls.

At the time I had a thing about pooing. I HATED pooing away from home and tried to hold in my effluent for as long as possible while on the trip. Eventually my sphinctre could hold back the tide no more and so I tried to go, discreetly, to the small tent that covered the shitter (hole in ground lovingly reffered to as the "shit pit").
It was as I scrunched my way over to the tent that a friend saw me and realised that I was trying to go off for a sneaky one.
He stood in the middle of the field and screamed at the top of his voice,

"Hey everyone, Will's going for a shit"

Needless to say I was very very embarrased. Especially when my fellow pupils gathered round and started slapping the tent as a mammoth melon-like shit escaped via the back door.

There was another time on said trip where I walked into my tent, trying to find a kid named David.
I found him alright.
There he was in the middle of the tent, for anyone to see if they had walked in, bent over with his trousers and underwear round his ankles.

He was inserting a Cadburys Chocolate Finger into his rectum

I stood there for a moment in a stunned silence. His eyes were closed with a serene look on his face and he hadnt seen me.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I enquired.

He was so shocked to see me that I'm fairly sure he would have shit himself with fright if he had not had a chocolate finger protruding from his buttocks.

I left before anything else could be said but he later told me that when he removed the finger it had very little chocolate covering and that the next day he pooed little bits of chocolate with his normal poo.
We called him "Fingers" for the rest of the trip.

Same trip, same boy. He went into some public toilets when we went out shopping for food. Unfortunately he didnt look before he leapt and it was only when he reached for the bog roll that he realised there was none left. He proceeded to wipe his arse on his underwear and then put the underwear back on. He didnt see this as abnormal behaviour.

No apologies for length. Fingers arent that long anyway.
(vibrating tuna, Sat 9 Dec 2006, 23:44, Reply)