Didn't we have a luvverly time the day we went to...
...Jodrell Bank space telescope? Well, no, not really. We were about eight or nine, and Mavourneen started whining about halfway up the motorway that she needed a shit. So our teacher Mrs Woods forced all of us to move into the front half of the coach (which meant perching on any available knee of the slightly older delegation from another - much rougher - school that we didn't even fucking know, inevitably leading to all kinds of "now we know your boy/girlfriend" taunts) while she used all of our coats (!) to make a feeble impromptu 'curtain' across the rear half.

She then 'borrowed' a tube of Pringles off fattie Briggs (even this lardfelcher was NOT going to be asking for it back) , gave us one each to keep us 'occupied', and, still munching on a sizeable handful herself, embarked upon the distinctly audible (and presumably highly balletic) process of coaxing Mavourneen into a breathtakingly dextrous bout of bum-sniper-tastic precision pooing at 55mph in the slow lane. Apparently she was doing alright until it started to curl.

Afterwards, Mrs Woods threw the vile scud from the moving coach window, and told us in no uncertain terms that any further mention of the incident would result in a week of after-school sums. By the time we got to Jodrell (rubbish) half an hour later, entire classes from two different schools had racked up detentions lasting until sometime in mid-2026.
( grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Tue 12 Dec 2006, 15:58, Reply)