Defend was the wrong word and I retract it. Justifying it however is correct.
You start your post with suggesting I was a "snotty little wanker" and a "little shitbag"and you're surprised that you've been called on it? Really? Wow! Now who's being defensive?

What you've done there is firstly make a baseless assumption, not an observation. The clear inference from that being that I somehow earned my treatment. So despite your claims to the contrary, what you've written is nothing more than victim blaming and a justification of abuse and no amount of flouncing will change that.

Kids will single others out for any number of reasons, height, weight, hair, eye or skin colour, what football team they support, athletic ability etc etc This in of itself can be dealt with if effective disciplinary measures are taken, it stops when the threat of loss to the bully outweighs the potential gain. From the sounds of it, your school was capable of dealing with the worst excesses. Congrats. But if you look at some of the other posters on here, that clearly isn't always the case.

For the record, in my case it started out with not only moving to a new primary school a year before secondary, but also not having the money to buy the latest trainers, turns out that £20 Dunlop Wolves were not as cool as £130 Nike Air Max (this was back in the early 90's when they first came out). When it became apparent that on top of wearing uncool clothes that I was a bit geeky, enjoyed learning... Well it was pretty much down hill from there.

When there are no effective sanctions though, it will continue unabated. When you have a system that from the bullies mind not only encourages the behaviour but also promises rewards for escalating it (such as being given 3 days holiday - also known as a suspension), what might have been the "little hassle" that many, like yourself got will inevitably turn into what I did. As I said, I was by no means the only one on the business end of this, one poor fucker whose sole crime was being bit camp was literally driven insane in that place, the kid ended up in one of the few mental institutions still operating in the southwest at the time.

What happened to me and others in that school was due to the measures set down to stop such behaviour actually being seen as a perverse incentive, backed up with a willingness on the teachers parts to get rid of the relative handful of victims rather than the larger numbers bullies. For more modern examples of this behaviour, take a look at the way ASBOs are viewed by many tearaways.

You could have approached this any number of ways, instead you tried to put the blame on me, was I perfect? Was I fuck. What I was however, was utterly powerless to deal with what was being thrown at me and utterly screwed over by those who did have not just the power, but the responsibility.

And I think I'll leave it there.
(the_leander, Sun 5 Aug 2012, 22:57, 2 replies)

some poor shit in my class got a similar treatment to yours - he was ginger, annoying, and a compulsive liar (not little or even remotely logical ones, either - apparently, he was training RAF pilots at the age of 14). Granted, he was a dick but I'm not sure he deserved to get beaten up on a daily basis, stripped and tied to the rugby posts, or have a knife held to his throat on the school field. I got invited to his birthday parties not for being his friend (I wasn't), but simply for being one of the few that didn't actively cause him any harm - which is, in retrospect, quite sad. Perhaps he was a "snotty little wanker" and an "irritating shitbag", but only a complete cunt would think that justified his years of physical and mental abuse.

On the plus side, last I heard he was working in a care home for the elderly, making a positive difference to people's lives, and was apparently (finally) happy.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 5 Aug 2012, 23:18, closed)

working in a care home for the elderly
Hmm!

Oddly enough, I'm looking to get into nursing myself, I wonder if there is a correlation between how people are treated as school and the sorts of jobs that appeal to them?
(the_leander, Sun 5 Aug 2012, 23:31, closed)

Rory is sooo going to think that it's me!

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 1:00, closed)

see,
i knew you were a snotty little wanker.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 0:04, closed)

Got nothing huh?
Colour me surprised.
(the_leander, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 0:24, closed)

Simply substitute "I was a fairly geeky, fairly chubby ginger child, pretty much fair game, but managed to get through school life with very little real hassle" with "I am unable to appreciate that other people's circumstances, environs, and experiences might differ in any way to mine", and whatever it is that he fondly imagines is a point is rendered moot.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 0:35, closed)

True enough. I was hoping he might realise that not everyone's experience was like his.

I guess some folk simply never grow out of the mindset.
(the_leander, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 0:44, closed)

i think maybe you missed my point entirely.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 0:48, closed)

You had no point to miss.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 1:00, closed)

really?
Well, thanks for clearing that up.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 1:06, closed)

Oh, I'm very glad to be of service, but I get the impression that your gratitude is insincere. So far as I can make out, your solution to children being bullied is "don't be a snotty little wanker or irritating little shitbag, just toe the line and be 'likeable'". If pressed to elaborate upon why you believe this torrent of half-arsed shite should be taken seriously, you will explain that it worked for you. Personally. With your sample size of, well, you.

Glad we've cleared that up. Bullying shall no longer be an issue, now that you've fixed it.

Well done.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 1:18, closed)

learn to read you smug wanker.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 6:42, closed)

I linked you back to your own post, you depressing dullard. If you're trying to communicate an idea, it really is your responsibility to ensure that the things you write match up with the things you think - assinine as they are, I can only go by the words that you actually manage to mash out.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:44, closed)

right, so my experience is less valid than his or yours why?
I also didn't say I got off Scott free, a couple of beatings were handed down over time, but far less than the more irritating of my peers. Maybe if you climbed out of your own arse and were willing to accept that the entire world isn't after you just because some kids were cruel to you, then maybe you'd come across as less of an arrogant cock.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 11:22, closed)

Neither he nor I said the world is out to get us.
Looking back at it, it was simply a case of the brother covering for his sibling and the school taking the opportunity to brush the bullying issue under the carpet, which is a point that has been validated by both parents and other victims in this thread and on the bullying qotw multiple times. To help set the scene, this school had had to rebrand itself from a comprehensive to a community college because it had such a poor reputation locally.

But you carry on making your strawmen.
(the_leander, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 11:43, closed)

I never said I was bullied - it was another kid in my class, and he was not treated kindly at all. Looking back, I wish I'd tried a bit harder on his behalf, rather than just turning up and eating jelly at his birthday parties, but hey ho. Water under the bridge now. Also, I don't think my experience is any more valid than anyone's, yours included - the difference being, I'm not the one leveraging my own experiences to justify calling someone a 'snotty little wanker' and so forth, simply for having the temerity to receive a drubbing. If you're making a serious point, fair enough - but it does read (to me) as if you started a bit of trolling and have been furiously backpedaling ever since.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 14:11, closed)

It hasn't really worked for him, though, has it?
Because he comes across as a snotty little wanker and irritating little shitbag and not at all likeable.
(ubergeekian, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 18:01, closed)

look,
As I've already said, if you want to read in to what I've said as pro-bullying, and blaming you for what happened go ahead. That's not the point I was trying to make.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 1:10, closed)

Well, it's not a case of reading into it, it's what it is.
If it's simply a case of you not putting your point across clearly enough, by all means take another stab at it.

You had an easy out with my pointing to how the school dealt with it in terms of contributory reasons. Instead you've doubled down on me being the cause.

Either the treatment I received was justified, or it wasn't. One of those answers paints the person responding as a cunt.
(the_leander, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 1:17, closed)

you seem to be incapable of reading.
At no point have I said the bullying is justified, mereley that your own behaviour may have been a contributing factor. And to be honest, by the way you've responded to everything I've said, I'm inclined to believe that you really are a self important prick.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 6:45, closed)

He certainly isn't coming across as likeable here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:54, closed)

Shall we ambush him by the lockers and rub his face in dog poo?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:05, closed)

Really something.
The way you put some of your previous posts you most certainly did come off as implying that it was somehow justified. Your inability to express yourself in a reasonable, coherent manner isn't my problem. Personally I'm inclined to believe that the reason you responded the way you did was because you recognised your own behavior in what was being called out.

If you don't like the responses you're getting then take some of your own advice: Try being more likeable.
(the_leander, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:05, closed)

meh,
You can think what you like, just be aware that instantly jumping on the defensive every time someone tries to add their perspective to a situation, marks you out as a self absorbed, arrogant prick, who is either always right, or a victim.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:30, closed)

I can and I do
Perhaps if you had simply asked 'is it possible things you did might have been a contributing factor' you might have gotten a different response compared to the one you did. Trying to paint this as merely you offering an alternate perspective is a hell of a stretch though.

Like I said, your problem, not mine.
(the_leander, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 10:25, closed)

LAST WORD!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 10:27, closed)

You don't need to be annoying or anything else to be bullied as a kid
Just to be slightly different in some way to the percieved norm. I was bullied as a kid because i liked to read books and it took the form of mental and physical abuse. I didn't do anything to encourage the bullying but it happened anyway. Kids are cruel and just saying that bullying can be stopped by the victim changing their behaviour is demonstrating a breath taking lack of understanding of the issue.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 10:56, closed)

i bet you were fat too.
I never said bullying would magically have stopped had he been more likeable, merely that its possible that he could have made it worse for himself by being such a prick.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 11:18, closed)

Some amazing revisionism you got there.
(the_leander, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 11:34, closed)

I think you'll find
that yes you did.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 9:46, closed)

Shurrup an gimme your lunch money gingeswot.
Or you'll be getting another dead-leg.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 6 Aug 2012, 2:25, closed)

NEVER!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 6:47, closed)

*Dead legs*

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 6 Aug 2012, 19:47, closed)