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This is a question Inflated Self-Importance

Amorous Badger asks: Tell us tales of people who have a high opinion of themselves. Jumped-up officials, the mad old bloke who runs the Neighbourhood Watch like it's a military operation, Colonel Blimps, pompous bastards and people stuck up their own arse.

(, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:22)
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A few years back when I was staying at my girlfriend's flat in Chalk Farm
Together we'd planted hanging baskets and window boxes outside her building with a mixture of flowers, ivy hanging down and all that. On this particular day I was leaving for work and I needed to water the flowers on my way out so I picked up a couple of empty cans from the night before, filled them with water and walked out into the sunshine.

Whereupon I was stopped by two PCSOs. They looked at me and then at the open cans I was holding, one in each hand. One of them said:

"Do you realise it is illegal to drink alcohol on the streets in this Borough, as it's a controlled drinking zone?"

"Um, yeah, but I'm not..."

"And it's illegal to carry an open container of alcohol?"

"Well yes, but these are full of-"

"And as a Community Support Officer I can fine you for drinking alcohol on the streets?"

By this point I'd lost patience so I turned around and poured the offending cans into the windowboxes, as had been my intention all along. The PCSOs strutted off, presumably proud that they'd prevented an alkie enjoying his 8:30am lagers.
(, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 12:37, 11 replies)
Man ... you should have let them do all the paperwork for the fine, then point out and prove that they only had water in them.

(, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 12:57, closed)
should have told them to piss off and drunk the water
followed by a wet belch to the face
(, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 13:03, closed)
Because it was 8:45am by the time they'd gone away?

(, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 13:08, closed)
PCSO's are fun to wind up.
They look the part, but have no real policing powers. They can only perform an arrest for a indictable offence. If they ask for your name and address, you can refuse to supply it and their is nothing they can do about it. If they want to exercise their fining powers, just keep walking as they cannot physically stop or restrain you for a civil offence. If you don't hand over the information, they have no way to pursue you for any fine. If you refuse to even take the fine notice off of them, even better.

According to a proper copper I know, the real police find this all highly amusing.
(, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 13:48, closed)
Standard greeting for PCSOs:
"Fuck off and come back with a warrant holder".
(, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 17:59, closed)
Known to many real coppers as chimps,
or so I've heard.

Completely
Hopless
In
Most
Police
Situations
(, Sat 26 Jan 2013, 14:36, closed)

"Do you realise it is illegal to drink alcohol on the streets in this Borough, as it's a controlled drinking zone?"

"Actually officer, unless this is an alcohol exclusion zone, it is not illegal to drink on the streets. It's illegal to stop or hand over the alcohol if requested by a proper authority."

"And it's illegal to carry an open container of alcohol?"

"No it's not."

"And as a Community Support Officer I can fine you for drinking alcohol on the streets?"

"No. You can't. I can get you arrested for theft if you do that."
(, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 15:58, closed)
Yeah I did find that while looking up the specific terminology while writing this
Drinking on the streets only becomes illegal once a copper asks you to stop. Wish I'd known that at the time.
(, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 16:07, closed)
If it's illlegal to impersonate a copper
How come CSO's get away with it?
(, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 16:37, closed)
FUCK the PO-LICE

(, Fri 25 Jan 2013, 16:19, closed)
Ewwwwwww, you fancy STING?
Bleeeeeaaagh.
:(
(, Sat 26 Jan 2013, 21:43, closed)

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