Bungee cord in the face and a cows arse
As part of my normal morning routine of feeding calves down on the farm, I have to open a home made feeding device whish is secured overnight with a few bungee cords and 6 bolts. As usual the little calves were swarming around me making my job really difficult, tiny hooves crushing my feet and sandpaper tongues licking my hands. ( I am not even going to start on cow breath at this point.)As my temper was reaching breaking point I was trying to get the last few wing nuts unscrewed whilst kneeling in cow shit, I started to unhook the first bungee cord. As predicted the 2 cords hooked together under considerable strain unhooked themselves in the middle causing one end to hit me square in the forehead and the other to shoot off the feeder and make a consderable thwacking sound as it hit a small cow on the arse. The result was an instant egg forming on the forehead for me and 40 calves bolting out the gate towards the house. With a thumping head ache causing me to be slightly blind I still had to go and round the little fuckers up.
(Darkbex I have nothing to declare... not even my genius, Sat 30 Nov 2013, 1:18, 4 replies)

The guy I was tying down a load of lumber with
said - watch out for these bungees, I've seen someone's eye taken out -

Sure enough the hook lets go, comes whipping around and hits him in the forehead.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sat 30 Nov 2013, 6:28, closed)

A certain type was banned here
- the ones with the metal hooks.
*at least in West Oz* due to the fact that they had taken people's eyes out.

I can still buy them by the dozen at the local $2 shop tho.

The secret is to hook the metal hook onto the bungee cord and use that as the hook. That way if it comes loose the hook won't automatically spring free. In theory.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Sat 30 Nov 2013, 8:19, closed)

Have you people not heard of protective headgear?
I understand it in some way mitigates the injury caused by fuckwits.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sat 30 Nov 2013, 14:35, closed)

You bloody OSH reps and all your safety gear!
You'd have us have a wank in full PPE with facemask, safety glasses and hardhats.






*Am actually an OSH rep, have never wanked in suggested getup*
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Sat 30 Nov 2013, 23:50, closed)