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This is a question Sex Toys

Lanternchikk asks "How about a vibrant and stimulating discussion on sex toys?" What do you use to get off, and has it ever gone wrong? And yes, we've heard that urban myth, thank you.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:33)
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A request...
Speaking as someone who works in a microbiology laboratory at a large hospital, please can I respectfully ask that people do not use aerosol bottles with detachable lids for anything other than their designed purpose?
We received one a lid which had become detached from the bottle while being used for more pleasurable purposes. The lady in question had attempted to remove it, but it was too far in. She left it for a while (ie - a couple of weeks!) in the hope it would work its way down. It didn't. She then visited the hospital, who removed it, and sent it to us for bacterial testing. In fourteen years of working there, I have only once smelled something worse - and that was a necrotic anus.
The black plastic had actually degraded and was discoloured. The test we perform requires it being placed in a liquid, and incubated for a fortnight to encourage a type of bacteria called actinomyces. We didn't get as far as two weeks - after 8 days it had produced so much bacteria that the resulting gas blew the lid off the airtight jar! Despite much cleaning, the incubator stank for over a week!
God alone knows what state the woman's bits were in!
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 7:07, closed)
You leave my mum alone!

(, Mon 21 May 2012, 8:51, closed)

I think that's the point. He/She wants everyone to leave the Mum alone
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 10:17, closed)
Oh, well struck, sir.

(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:02, closed)
That's maybe why she had to use the aerosol in the first place.
In both it's intended and unintended purpose.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:05, closed)
who are you calling an aerosol?

(, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:45, closed)
I want it for the armpits

(, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:30, closed)
Hmm.
Fresh.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 18:10, closed)
I'm printing this out and wanking with it.

(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:22, closed)
That necrotic anus
I'd like to hear more about that, please.
(, Tue 22 May 2012, 9:02, closed)
Those cans are dangerous. When I was working in A&E an elderly gentleman came in after slipping in the shower and landing on a bottle of shampoo.
Except it turned out he'd actually shoved a can of air freshener up there and the lid had shattered. It had to be pulled out one bloody shard at a time leaving his arse in a pretty sorry state.
(, Thu 24 May 2012, 0:49, closed)

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