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This is a question Sex Toys

Lanternchikk asks "How about a vibrant and stimulating discussion on sex toys?" What do you use to get off, and has it ever gone wrong? And yes, we've heard that urban myth, thank you.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:33)
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I also used emvees prosser mum as a sextoy too

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:56, 24 replies)
*sigh*
Like I said, "I fucked your mum" is water off a duck's back because you don't seem to understand that this is b3ta and that's how people talk to each other here. You really need to get better at this.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:59, closed)
Indeed.
Something along the lines of I mixed x's dead relative's ashes with water and used it as lube for the best wank of my life.

Or something.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:03, closed)
Yeah, that's a good one
Actually it gave me a semi
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:05, closed)
Along those lines...
I once knew a person who had a torn frenulum. After much badgering from his group of friends (I did not want to see such a thing) he finally got it out. That's not the worrying bit though.

The worrying bit is that he admitted to getting half a chubby on at the thought of getting it out. In front of a bunch of men.

Weird.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:08, closed)
Fucking weirdo.
Hard, peeled back and bobbing with each heartbeat is the way to go.

oh and of course you did not want to see it. Of course not.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:10, closed)
I know what's involved
Having read about something similar here, and knowing that once healed, seeing such a thing is truly underwhelming.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:37, closed)
Well, that's true enough
I had mine surgically cut 15 years ago, but there's no point looking at it now. Unless you really wanted to and asked nicely.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:46, closed)
You bummer.

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:41, closed)
emvee's dad?

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:06, closed)
Yes, well done
Too dim to think of your own trolling insults, you've resorted to parrotting Rory's halfwit catchphrases. You must be very proud of yourself.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:17, closed)
oh man, iron emvee shot me down with his laser missile suit :(

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:19, closed)
You still wish you were me
As does Rory
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:24, closed)
Used it as lube to do the corpse of x's other dead relative/dad up the arse, Shirley?

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:25, closed)
That's just sick.

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:26, closed)
Where do the batteries go?

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:39, closed)
1 x AA behind each nipple is the traditional place I believe

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:47, closed)
I suppose
They could be pushed up her arse, then he can pretend it's Jamie Bulger.

Ticket to Hull? They're picking me up in a chauffeur-driven Limo
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:50, closed)
At least he got some sweet electro-stim prostate action before he went
Men pay top dollar for equipment that does that
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:51, closed)
fucking hell

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:52, closed)
Now that's what I'm talking about
Fucking hell, Rory, I hope you're reading and learning
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:55, closed)
you utter spoon.

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:08, closed)
Er...you fat slag?

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:13, closed)
holy fuck there emvee, crossing the line man

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:14, closed)
I heard she has a wooden leg and for an extra fiver she'll shove it up her arse.

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:29, closed)

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