My sex misconceptions
Freddy Woo writes, "aged eight, a boy from my class told me everything these was to know about sex: male prostitutes are called destitutes and women use tampons to stop men sticking their willies up them. Also, women pee out their bums, something I didn't realise was wrong until I was about 18 and my first girlfriend looked at me aghast."
Share everything - Uncle B3ta wants to know.
zero points for conception/misconception jokes
( , Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:54)
Freddy Woo writes, "aged eight, a boy from my class told me everything these was to know about sex: male prostitutes are called destitutes and women use tampons to stop men sticking their willies up them. Also, women pee out their bums, something I didn't realise was wrong until I was about 18 and my first girlfriend looked at me aghast."
Share everything - Uncle B3ta wants to know.
zero points for conception/misconception jokes
( , Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:54)
« Go Back
Mood killers - part 3
I have only ever deflowered 2 virgins, and considering I don't hang around drunken whoreish types I assumed that when I deflowered the first one she would have seen it as something profound and romantic (I do try my best).
This young lady had apparently read a LOT of cosmo. She bit my lip and made it bleed. She tried to take my boxers off with her teeth but only succeeded in pulling the button off. But the killer was when the act began.
Now I don't mind the young lady shouting stuff during sex if that's her bag. Can't say I'm into it myself but y'know, if I'm good enough that she feels the need to blaspheme then that's absolutely fine.
"Ooooh, baby, yeah"
Ok, that's cool, if a little cliched.
"Oh god baby yeah"
Blasphemy is always fun.
"You're my bitch, aren't you"
Well...I'm your boyfriend?
"Yeah, give it to me, you dirty fucking bitch"
I may be fucking you but I'm not a bitch and I am meticulously hygenic.
"You're my dirty fucking cunt bitch. Yeah, give it to me you fucking slag."
Losing your hymen may hurt. But so do my feelings. *Sniff*
( , Thu 25 Sep 2008, 23:51, 1 reply)
I have only ever deflowered 2 virgins, and considering I don't hang around drunken whoreish types I assumed that when I deflowered the first one she would have seen it as something profound and romantic (I do try my best).
This young lady had apparently read a LOT of cosmo. She bit my lip and made it bleed. She tried to take my boxers off with her teeth but only succeeded in pulling the button off. But the killer was when the act began.
Now I don't mind the young lady shouting stuff during sex if that's her bag. Can't say I'm into it myself but y'know, if I'm good enough that she feels the need to blaspheme then that's absolutely fine.
"Ooooh, baby, yeah"
Ok, that's cool, if a little cliched.
"Oh god baby yeah"
Blasphemy is always fun.
"You're my bitch, aren't you"
Well...I'm your boyfriend?
"Yeah, give it to me, you dirty fucking bitch"
I may be fucking you but I'm not a bitch and I am meticulously hygenic.
"You're my dirty fucking cunt bitch. Yeah, give it to me you fucking slag."
Losing your hymen may hurt. But so do my feelings. *Sniff*
( , Thu 25 Sep 2008, 23:51, 1 reply)
I am quite frankly staggered...
at the prolific rate with which you fire out these gems.
I predict that it will not be a very long time before you are:
a) A QotW winner
b) Considered a legend on this site.
My flabber has never been so gasted.
please slow down, my finger hurts from clicking so much. :p
( , Fri 26 Sep 2008, 8:50, closed)
at the prolific rate with which you fire out these gems.
I predict that it will not be a very long time before you are:
a) A QotW winner
b) Considered a legend on this site.
My flabber has never been so gasted.
please slow down, my finger hurts from clicking so much. :p
( , Fri 26 Sep 2008, 8:50, closed)
« Go Back