My sex misconceptionsFreddy Woo writes, "aged eight, a boy from my class told me everything these was to know about sex: male prostitutes are called destitutes and women use tampons to stop men sticking their willies up them. Also, women pee out their bums, something I didn't realise was wrong until I was about 18 and my first girlfriend looked at me aghast."
Share everything - Uncle B3ta wants to know.
zero points for conception/misconception jokes
(
chthonic, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:54)
« Go Back
The cleverest penis in the worldMany moons ago, back when Miraclefish was young and Yoyos were yet to make their comeback, I was a naive little child.
My older brother, bless him, set about filling me in on the ins-and-outs (fnarr) of sex, girls and other icky stuff.
'Have you had a stiffy yet?'
Umm, yeah...
'Do you know what that means?'
Nope.
'It means you fancy a girl. If you like her, your willy gets stiff and points at her.'
Ohh. But, umm, I've had one. And I don't fancy her. She's ugly and doesn't like Star Wars.
'Ahh, you might think you don't, but if you get a stiffy, your willy knows that you do.'
Ohh. Wow. That's cool. Oh no. I fancy her!
And so the young miraclefish spent the next year of his life believing his special co-pilot could read his mind or see the future, resigning himself to fancying girls he thought he hated, while feeling nothing for ones he thought he liked.
Some time later, in the first sex (teacher said a bad word!) education lesson, the myth was dispelled. I was so annoyed that I stole my brother's bottle of Mountain Dew.
Damn you, Miraclebrother, damn you!
(, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 13:07, Reply)
« Go Back