b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » My sex misconceptions » Post 257171 | Search
This is a question My sex misconceptions

Freddy Woo writes, "aged eight, a boy from my class told me everything these was to know about sex: male prostitutes are called destitutes and women use tampons to stop men sticking their willies up them. Also, women pee out their bums, something I didn't realise was wrong until I was about 18 and my first girlfriend looked at me aghast."

Share everything - Uncle B3ta wants to know.

zero points for conception/misconception jokes

(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:54)
Pages: Latest, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, ... 1

« Go Back

When I was 18 I started going out with a lass who lived in a village just outside of the town where I live. Although I wasn't what you'd call a sexpert - I'd had sex once when I was 13 and then again a few years later - she was a virgin, although she had seen one cock in real life and had let a gentleman caller take a stroll through her lady garden with his fingers.

We'd been going out for a couple of months and slowly working our way through the bases until we got to the point where a nibble on her jebs and pants-on fingering action while she gave me a little wank, was par for the course.

One day however, we were both feeling particularly horny and, although my parents were sitting downstairs watching TV and could knock on my bedroom door at any moment, found ourselves as naked as the day that we were born. Thinking I could chance my arm (or more correctly, my tongue) I asked her if she'd freak out if I went down on her. She look at me a little confused and then said, 'Oh. Ok, I suppose.' Even though it was hardly an enthusiastic response it was good enough for me and, more importantly, the English legal system , so I soon found myself lapping away at her twat to a chorus of low grunts and moans of pleasure. These grew in volume until I was seriously concerned that my parents would hear her and come and see what all of the commotion was about, but she finally came to a breathless orgasm and deposited a goodly amount of lady spaff about my jaw and lower face.

Having cleaned myself up a bit, we lay there in each others arms with me waiting for the gob job I now felt I was owed, when she turned to me and said, 'I've got a confession to make.' This elicited a mild panic in me; had I just had a Crying Game moment and the vadge I'd just so fondly licked was actually an inside-out knob that a surgeon had stuffed back up him/her? Was the quantity of lovejuice so great that she'd actually done a cheeky piss in my mouth to fake an orgasm? Fortunately, her confession was much sweeter, if a lot dimmer. 'When you said would I freak out if you went down on me, I thought you were going downstairs to make a cup of tea.'

And to think, if I'd asked her 'would you be upset if I nipped round the back?' I probably could have bummed her.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 10:37, 3 replies)
(, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 10:47, closed)
(, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 14:18, closed)
Made me smile
(, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 16:11, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, ... 1