Not me
A colleague of mine regales a story of how he met a slightly older lady in a bar, and following a few drinks proceeded to lead her outside into the car park to give her one over the bonnet of Ford Fiesta in typical classy fashion. Shortly after he began thrusting, he felt something soft and squidgy while holding on to her sides.



Her colostomy bag.

Of course I can't verify this as it's a second hand story, but I can't for the life of me imagine why anyone would make such a thing up. And in case you're wondering, he claims that despite his discovery he did indeed finish what he started.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 12:39, 8 replies)

Odd place to bring out a stoma.
Did he try to pop a finger up her bum to check if it was sewn up?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 12:42, closed)

I'm not entirely sure how they work
Don't you have to bring them out everywhere?

I didn't ask this but it is a good question.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 12:48, closed)

Sorry. I meant an odd place to bring the intestine outside the body.
They're usually around the front a bit rather than right on the side where you'd typically grab somebody while banging them over a small hatchback.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 12:59, closed)

it was probably very full then

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:07, closed)

Oh man.
I'm definitely going to need to crack one off now.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:07, closed)

Is your colostomy bag full, or are you just happy to see me?

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:29, closed)

Was the bag like your mate???
ie full of shit....???
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 21:40, closed)

MORE!!!PUNCT,,,UATIONS?!?!!...???

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 9:22, closed)