Party
Oh dear don't even know why I'm posting this, I'm going to need conselling again.

During my more tender years, I went to a party and arrived fashionably early (midday) so I could watch the FA Cup build up, I was there with my sister (shame scale 8 of a possible 10), her friend and the hostess (her parents were away). I got very drunk very quickly and by 10pm I was asleep in the hostess's bed. She got in a little later, woke me up and we shagged 4 times, so all in all it had gone alright. The next day I heard about the fallout from the previous night. The hostess caught me micturating up the radiator in her parents room and vomiting on the wicker chair in the same room, this was prior to the shagging. Oh dear.

Just thought of another one, a little earlier in my life I was an office junior in an account department and it was year end so we had the auditors round. We set them up in a little office and they needed an "uplighter" (like a normal light but points light up, hence the name, skip to the end!). I entered carrying said item, it was dead quiet as they were auditing away, I bent over to plug it in and farted. I then tried to replicate the sound by rubbing my shoe on the base of the uplighter to make it sound like it was that in the first place. Of course rubber on metal can never and will never sound like cutting one, oh the shame.
( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 25 Nov 2005, 8:00, Reply)