Drunken Shocker
When I was about 19/20 I worked in a mobile phone shop as a part time job to pay for my beer at Uni. One night we finished work at 6ish and hit the pubs. We were still drinking at 11 and made it to another bar which was open till 12. We ordered some vodka which turned out to be doubles. I drank my share and headed off across the road to get some pizza for the mile walk home. I noticed the vodkas were doubles as soon as i stepped outside the bar and the cold January air hit me. I finished my pizza and said my goodbyes to the others who walked a different way. About 1/2 way home i needed to empty some beer and vodka from my bladder. I nipped across the road into some roadside woodland and took about 10 paces in and relieved myself. The next thing i remember is looking up at the black/blue sky through trees and seeing stars on what was a particularly clear night. Bearing in mind this was mid Jan and about -2 i was COLD. However having been asleep and still a bit drunk i tried to get back to sleep without really knowing where i was. In my favour it was just slightly too cold so i thought i had better go home. I stood up to find my trousers around my feet and not knowing what time it was i staggered back to the road through the trees. I called my mate to see what the time was and to inform him of my adventure and near hypothermia death experience. At this time he was working in a DIY store and that night they were doing a stock audit overnight. He answered the phone and became instantly aware of my drunkenness so kindly put my call on the over store announcement system. So. 15 employees listened to my trousers round shoes, sleeping in bush, in pool of own urine story, unbeknown to me. It was not till the next day that i popped into this store to rapturous applause that I realised what had happened. What a cock!
( studlywonder, Fri 25 Nov 2005, 10:17, Reply)