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Some people get off on the exhibitionism, but this was pure lust. I'm not proud, but I did once have sex on Portsmouth beach at 2am in the fog. I got a nasty cold, shingle _everywhere_ and have never, ever gone back to Portsmouth. The shame.

There are things you boast about, and then there's Portsmouth beach... what are you ashamed of having done?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2005, 17:16)
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I don't live here...
Very very drunken night out, drank about 25 bottles of cheap beer and a few vodka martini's (Was going through a James Bond fetish at the time). Left the crap local bar we were in and went into town to carry on drinking. Lost friends between pubs as I was a drunken mess, so decided to go for a piss around the back of some nearby terraced houses before I tried to find a bus/taxi anything to get home, fell asleep for about 30 mins in a pile of black binbags...

So good so far, nothing too shameful, however this is the part it gets bad.
- I lived in a flat above a very similar looking terraced block and thought that one of the houses was mine. (Although some bastard had nicked the fire escape up to my front door.) Scaled a 15 foot wall, crawled 30 foot along it, jumped onto the roof of the house via a sloped extension, edged along a further 15 foot on the roof, lowered myself onto the kitchen window ledge, put the top window through with my elbow and climbed in- went into the lounge of the place and went to sleep on the sofa so I didn't disturb my missus (not that she was in this random house)... Trouble is that I sleep in the nude...
Next thing I know I'm being woke up by two police women (!?!?) and carted off to the cells for the rest of the night- I was in such a drunken state I hadn't got a clue what was happening, so started asking the police women if they were the strippers, and if they spat or swallowed...
I'd blacked out during this whole event and I couldn't actually remember what had happened when I woke in the morning, until I asked the duty sargent why I was in the cell...

The word is not enough to describe it.

Luckily the woman who lived in the flat and the police saw the funny side- the police kept calling me spiderman, and asked if I was a professional cat burgler, and the flat owner didn't press charges- Although I paid for the glazier to go round and repair the window.

Apologies for the length (although the police women didn't make any comment about that)

NOTE: 1st post wooyay
(, Sun 27 Nov 2005, 19:08, Reply)

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