In quite a few of my QOTW answers, I've mentioned my devout Catholic foster parents...
...and I'm going to again.

When i was about 8, while driving long distance to god knows where, I was in the back seat trying to ignore the tingling of travel sickness in my lips. It was a warm summer day and I can remember I was wearing some of those polyester sports shorts (like the pair Alan Partridge is wearing when his "solders keep popping out of the barracks").

Anyway, at some point i noticed a rumbling in my tummy and raise a bum cheek to ease it out quietly, one that goes "hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhff". Unfortunately I obviously had an upset stomach from something (probably from my foster parents god awful cooking... minced beef and orange, served in a scooped out orange anyone? mmmm). At the time it didn't seem so obvious though, so i slid a hand down the back of my shorts... I had confirmation - DEFCON 1.

Then, i can vividly remember taking my hand out, covered in liquid shit, and thinking "my hand feels cold now"... so i put it back in my shorts! lol

Soon after, my brother remarked "pwooooar! whats that smell?", foster mum said it was probably just a sewerage farm. But the stink persisted and gained that tang that tells you nobody is safe... I was finally sussed.

We pulled over at the next service station... I WAS GIVEN A BOLLOCKING!?... like i meant to do it!
I was made to sit on the kerb, naked from the waist down except for a thong of diarrhoea while they scrubbed the back seats, hahaaa fuckers!
(A Hospital Carpark, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 23:38, 1 reply)

Augh
Those horrible horrible people!
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 23:55, closed)