What's Greek for Shit?
The year was 1999, and a group of us who had just finished our studies at the world-renowned Braintree College of Further Education decided that it was Time For A Holiday. Our destination?

The picturesque Greek island of Zakynthos.

I don’t know if it’s true of all Greek islands, or even Greece itself, but the first thing that we were told at the orientation meeting was this:

“For the love of all that is holy, when you have a poo and wipe your bum, put the tissue in the bin.” Apparently, the plumbing on the island dates back to the time of Plato, and really can’t stand having tissue running through it as well as all the other detritus. Anyway, thanks for the info, nice lady – if you would kindly show me to the bar I’ll be out of your hair!

Roll on 11 days, and we’re nearing the end of our holiday. Lounging by the pool, eyeing up the locals, the conversation inevitably turned to matters of the smallest room.

“I dunno about you guys,” I said “but I’m tired of putting the tissue in the bin. It just doesn’t feel civilised.”
“I know what you mean,” said someone else “I feel sorry for the maids.”

Silence reigned for a couple of seconds.

“Hang on…” said Suzi, “what do you mean “putting tissue in the bin”? You haven’t been flushing your poo away, have you?”
“Um, yes… Why?”
“You bloody idiots!” She yelled “You’re not meant to put any solids down the toilet or it’ll block the drains!”

It turned out (to cut a long story short), that Suzi hadn’t listened properly. She had, instead of passing her jobbies into the toilet, been folding tissue paper in to her hand, pooing on to that, and depositing the whole shitty, tissuey mess in to the small bin by the throne.

She left the maid a big tip, in more ways than one.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 16:55, 7 replies)

hahaha *clicks*
Silly Suzi!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 16:58, closed)

It's true
all over greece.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 17:04, closed)

You know, I've wondered about that....
Same thing in Guatemala. A friend says the first thing he does on arrival home is take a big drink out a the water fountain, eat a HUGE salad and flush mass quanties of toilet paper down the bog.

But if the can can't even handle paper, how can it manage big, hard, shitty lumps of man-poo? Why doesn't it clog up?
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 18:19, closed)

it's the same in Turkey
and I hated it. Loved the country, the people, the food ..... hated the bogs. It felt so good to get home and just flush the stuff.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Fri 28 Mar 2008, 18:54, closed)

And they are the fathers of medicine......
Ironically, the word "hygiene" comes from "hygeia" meaning health in Greek. Hygeia was the goddess of health. All the great mathematicians hailed from Greece too. I love the country, language, culture, cuisine, philosophy et al - spent 3 years living there. Hippocrates built the very first hospital on the island of Kos. He invented medicine as we know it - was the first to dispute illness being caused by theological wrath....
So, in the light of the above, why, oh why, can't they build drains capacious enough to carry bogroll!?

On my initial return to Blighty, I was stuck staying with my folks until I found my own place. Now, my normal colonic preference is to poo 3 or 4 times a day. Imagine my mother's disgust when I continued to place my bogroll in her bathroom bin.

Greek for shit is "skata" (emphasis on the last syllable) hence scatalogical

p.s. you don't want to know what it's like being up on blocks there.... eeeough
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 23:25, closed)

And Greek for wanker / cunt / fuckbucket / knob-jockey
Is spimf.

True fact folks, it just won't say that in any English/Greek dictionary...

God that's really childish isn't it..?

Cunt.





Oh, and cunt.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 Mar 2008, 23:47, closed)

Egypt is the same
Most uncivilised part of the holidays. Mind you, most of the "rest stops" just have a hose to wash your arse down with, and toilet paper has to be bought before going in, unless you are the canny sort who steals it from the hotel before leaving!
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Sat 29 Mar 2008, 21:34, closed)