Peanuts - scourge of the anus!
My mum once bought me a big bag of salted peanuts, half a kilo in weight. As a 20 year old I thought nothing of eating the entire bag in one sitting and this is something I'll never do again. A few hours later I'm doubled over in horrendous stomach pains such as I've never experienced before, and then I my body tells me that I need to visit the toilet - NOW.

So what d'you expect came out? A nobbly Snickers-style turd? Nope, I literally pissed a clear liquid out of my arse. I have no idea how 500g of salted peanuts cause this, but I swear I pissed a watery liquid from my arsehole with no bits of nuts in it at all. Didn't feel right for the rest of the day, either.
(DrDerekDoctors, Sun 30 Mar 2008, 12:00, 1 reply)

Salt my boy.
The excess salt in your digestive tract would have drawn water through your intestines the wrong way (ie. from your bloodstream into your guts, instead of the other way round) through the process of osmosis. By this logic, I would say it is relatively safe to claim you were shitting a large portion of blood out your anus. Happy days.

_{This is my own personal diagnosis, I am not a doctor, so don't take anything I say at all serioiusly.}
(Stinky Wizzleteats Should probably be doing something more productive, Sun 30 Mar 2008, 13:35, closed)